Keep The Faith

15.

The clunk of each Manolo hitting the floor was oddly satisfying. She left them lying there on the floor of the trailer- she'd be damned if she started referring to this tin box as home- and padded into the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator and poked around. Nothing. What a surprise.

Derek was supposed to go to the grocery store, but naturally, he'd forgotten. Addison rolled her perfectly made up eyes, deciding that for all intents and purposes, he'd probably been too busy rescuing Meredith from people from his past or holding her in a clean room to remember to buy bread or milk. In her head, she knew that was crazy, those events were weeks ago, and there had been milk then.

She padded to the drawer where she kept her various take out menus. She was used to ordering food for two and just throwing away the other half when Derek didn't come home, so she had just started ordering for one. As she did tonight. She had tip at about fifty percent to get people to deliver to the trailer, but hey, she had to eat. She ordered, sat down on the bed and put her face into her hands.

She had vague memory of telling Meredith months ago that she didn't want someone who didn't want her. She had lied. It was obvious that Derek didn't want her. He didn't even want to pretend to try anymore. But she was hanging on. The question echoing in Addison's mind, the question that haunted her was how much longer would she grasp for something that wasn't there?

All the logic in her body, the logic that had cultivated her into the best neonatal surgeon in the country, was screaming at her that it was useless. Fruitless on all counts. She was fighting an uphill, loosing battle. She could have all the flawless features, all the class and all the amazing outfits, Derek simply didn't care anymore. He didn't see her anymore. And Meredith? Meredith was a mess, a tiny girl sized train wreck. It was almost comic to Addison, how much affection her husband harbored for the intern.

She had never pictured herself this woman. The woman who hung on, against all logic, and against all hope. She have never imagined she would be in the situation to hang on, but hell, here she was. And she would hang on until the bitter end. Love did crazy things to the most logical of people.

💉🩺

The knock on the door made oddly satisfying clunks of knuckles against wood. Callie Torres knew she could fight dirty, but tonight, she was taking the high road. Meredith Grey hadn't been kind to her, but she hadn't been awful either. They were in a middle ground or maybe. They could be friends. Callie almost wanted to be friends. Or at least she knew George wanted them to be friends, and that was enough for her to make the effort to be friends. So here she was, knowing Cristina and Izzie were working, and George was probably clucking around Meredith like a mother hen on a suicide watch, knocking on the door.
Meredith swung the door open, and her face fell immediately. "Hey." She said.

Callie raised her eyebrows. "Don't look so excited to see me."

"Sorry. Nothing personal. I was just...."

"Hoping I was someone else Someone Derek Shepherd shaped?" Meredith nodded, and Callie was surprised to feel a pang of sympathy for her at the look on her face. She reached into the bag she had brought and pulled out a bottle of Jose Cuervo. "George told me about the McDreamy situation. And that you were avoiding the bar. So I, uh, brought the bar to you."

Meredith looked at her for a while, as if half expecting her to laugh and say it was all a joke. But finally, she smiled, and stepped aside. "Come in." Callie walked down the hall to the kitchen, and kissed George briefly on the mouth by way of greeting. "Thanks Callie." She heard Meredith say behind her.

Many shots later, it didn't matter if they were friends or not, Meredith was rambling uncontrollably about the whole situation.

"I should have known it was about the sex." She said, downing another shot. "He said he loved me, and I believed him, cause he's Derek and that's what I do. I always believe Derek, and look where it gets me. Cause if he really loved me, he'd leave her, right?"