Keep The Faith

18.

"Derek?" Meredith said. They were lying in her bed, a single sheet pulled up over both of them. He was holding her close to him, and he head was lying on his chest. They were watching the rain drops trickle down the window.

"Yeah?" He shifted so he could look at her. Her voice was quiet and sounded serious.

"You should go and talk to Addison." She said. He pulled her a little closer to him, relishing the feel of her bare skin against his.

"It can wait until tomorrow Meredith." He said. He felt her head shake against his shoulder.

"No. She was right. You had an affair with me, Derek. And for a lot longer than since prom. We never really let go." She hadn't meant to, but she had just opened the door to a much larger conversation, a conversation she wasn't sure they were ready for.

"Mer, I'm so sorry. I chose wrong, you know." Derek said. "I didn't want to leave you, God, it was the hardest thing I've ever done, leaving you. But I had to."

"We have this, intense, consuming thing." She said slowly. "You killed someone Derek."

"I couldn't lose you."

She was quiet for a long time. " But you let me go." She whispered.

Derek shook his head. "I didn't, though. Because I never stopped loving you. And this thing that happened, where I made you wait. I didn't see what it was doing to you, Mer, I swear I didn't."

"So you're not letting go anymore?"

"You won't be able to get rid of me." He promised. "I'm always going to be here, not letting go." Meredith nodded, and snuggled a little closer to him.

"Good." She said definitively. "That's good." She paused for awhile, but Derek didn't say anything because he knew she wanted to. "I had faith in you, you know. On the boat, I knew you'd come for me. The whole year, really. I had faith in you."

Derek blinked back the tears that formed in his eyes as he pressed a firm kiss to her head. "I love you." He told her.

"I love you too." She murmured back. "Derek?" she questioned tentatively. "Please go talk to Addison. She deserves closure."

"You really want me to go now? It's almost midnight."

"I really don't think she's sleeping." Meredith said, biting her lip out of guilt.

"I'll be back."

"I'll be waiting."

💉🩺

Addison was not sleeping. Not even close. She was currently turning Derek's piece of tin into her own personal war zone. She had parked her car inches from the porch and was currently engaged in the practice of ripping her belongings from whatever space they occupied in the trailer and throwing them into her trunk.
Clothes, shoes, books, everything. It all went into the trunk. She was going to be out of here as soon as possible. She would check into the most expensive hotel she could find. She would then drink her way from anger to numbness. She wouldn't even bother feeling sad or betrayed.

A dark figure walking towards the trailer caught her eye. Her eyes narrowed as Derek came into view. She spun on her heel, stalked back inside and closed her hand over the nearest heavy object she could find, her gold Jimmy Choo pumps. She hurled one at Derek's feet and the other one grazed his shoulder. He just picked them up and tossed them into her trunk. "I deserve that." He said. "That and more." He looked at her for a long time, and no matter how hard she tried to stay angry, her rage faded away into a dull, aching, emptiness. "Addie, I'm so sorry." He whispered.