Chapter 24
"Kailan ka dadating?" I asked over the phone.
[Around seven in the evening ako dadating. Eat dinner before going to our house, 'kay? Baka matagalan pa 'ko.] he said.
"'Ge." I then ended the call.
God! I'm so frustrated. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.
This is his first time going home after that movie is released. Three months. Three goddamn months. Hindi ako nasanay. Mabuti sana kung sinasagot niya palagi ang mga tawag ko at tumutugon sa mga text ko, kaso hindi. Hindi ko nga alam kung kami pa ba or ako na lang ang nag-aakalang kami pa.
It's already five in the afternoon. I should start preparing my dinner, maghahanda pa ako at bibiyahe papunta sa bahay nila.
I just fried a chicken for dinner. Manok lang ang nakikita ko sa fridge ko. I hurried preparing. I want to arrive there before him. There a lot of stuffs I need to tell him.
I can't even feel the excitement I used to feel when he's coming home. I don't know what's wrong with me.
I just wore a simple long sleeved top tucked into a denim skirt. It's hell cold outside. It's been raining for days. I fixed my hair and face before I wore my black chelsea boots.
I turned off all the electronics and secured my unit before leaving. Nag-abang ako ng taxi at masuwerteng hindi ako natagalan sa pag-antay. Umaambon na naman, I think it's about to rain. There's an umbrella inside my small back pack.
I paid the driver as I arrived in front of their gate and hopped out. It's only seven thirty in the evening. Pinagbuksan ako ng gate ng guard. He recognized me already after all those years of coming here.
"Thank you po, Kuya." I said before I walked towards their main door.
Pinapasok ako ng isang maid sa bahay nila. I asked her if Dave's around but she said she's on night shift today. She escorted me to the dining area because she said that's where Tito and Tita are.
"Good evening po, Tito, Tita." I said as I saw them.
"Oh! Hi there, Jenim. Join us for dinner." sabi ni Tita Amaida.
"Salamat po, Tita. I already ate." I said.
"Mazro will be here any minute from now. You can just wait in his room or at the sala." Tito said.
"Sige po, Tito. I'll just stay in his room." I said and left.
It's where we always hang out when he's around. We can't go out somewhere anytime we want, people might notice. We go on trips sometimes when both of us aren't busy. We go on islands and resorts that he booked a reservation solely for us. He also booked reservations on restaurants sometimes. That was before... I don't know what went wrong.
"Thank you po." I said to the maid who sent me here.
Pumasok ako sa kwarto ni Maz at umupo sa couch niya. I texted him that I'm inside his room. I rested my back and closed my eyes as I waited for him.
"Hey... you tired?" asked by a soft husky voice.
I slowly opened my eyes.
Oh... I slept.
It's a figure of him in a white hoodie and pants. I remember, I gave him that hoodie.
Umayos ako ng upo. "Kakarating mo lang? Anong oras na?" I asked.
"Yes. Eight thirty. Looks like you fell asleep waiting for me." he planted a kiss on my forehead. "Shower lang ako."
Tumango ako at umalis muna siya. He's kind of wet. Nabasa ata siya ng ulan.
He placed his bag at the edge of his bed and went to his shower room. I saw the headphone I gave him after his first music at the top of his bag. He still have it, huh?
Minutes later lumabas siya in a white shirt and shorts. He's drying his hair. He looked at me and I forced a smile. I don't know why.
Umupo siya sa tabi ko. He pulled me closer to him and hugged me tightly.
"I miss this. I miss you." he whispered.
Tahimik lang ako habang yinayakap niya. I don't know what to say. He rested himself on me.
This is it.
"Mazro." I called him.
"Hmm?"
"Ako ba pa?"
"It's always you. What do you mean?" he asked.
"Mahal mo pa ba ako? Kaya pa ba natin?"
Those questions made him release me.
I can sense that he's looking at me. I just maintained my vision straight in front of me looking at his wall.
"I don't get it. Anong pinagsasabi mo?" he asked.
"Ang labo na. I can't even think that we're together. Oo, masaya ako no'ng umuwi ka noon, kaso, hindi ko na ramdam. It wasn't the type of happiness that completes me unlike before to begin with."
I released a sighed.
"I don't know you anymore. Minsan mo nalang ba ako naaalala? On and off, no consistency." I added.
"I was busy and I thought you understood. You were the one who persuaded me to go for my dreams, right?" sumbat pa niya.
"So kasalanan ko?" tanong ko at tiningnan siya.
"Wala akong sinabing ganyan." sabi niya at napakamot sa ulo niya.
"Wala akong pakialam alam kahit sino pa'ng maka-loveteam mo, kahit itago mo pa ako sa mundo habang buhay, kahit isang beses sa isang taon ka pa uuwi... wala lang sa'kin ang mga 'yan, kaya kong tiisin ang mga 'yan. Communication is all I wanted, and you failed to give it to me."
I'm doing my best not to shed a tear.
"You think you're the only one that's suffering? I am, too. I need to balance my career because I thought that makes you happy, my studies because I want us to graduate together, and our relationship. I'm doing this all for us." he said.
I looked up, trying to hold my tears back.
"Nagagalit ako sa sarili ko. Galit ako tuwing nagagawa ni Dave ang mga bagay para sa'yo na dapat ako sana. I don't know why am I holding this grudge for myself because of my brother. I felt safe when you're with him before, but..."
He released a sigh.
"Not until puro nalang, “Kasama ko Dave.”, “Nandito na kami ni Dave.”, “Tinutulungan ako ni Dave.”, at iba pa. Everytime I pick up my phone, it's always Dave that you're talking about. Napapaisip ako... ako dapat 'yon."
I don't know how to react.
"This isn't working, Maz." I said.
His eyes widened.
"We've been together about almost four years, Jenim. Think about it!"
"It wasn't full almost four years. It was on and off. I'm not the type of girl that can handle a relationship without communication. I'm so sorry."
"I can do anything! I can forget my career and stay here."
"No! What's the point of making your world evolve around me? Don't you have your own dreams?" I asked.
"I have, but, you're the priority amongst all."
"Hindi, Maz. Chase for your dreams and I'll chase mine. If the both of us are not growing in this relationship, this isn't right."
"Bakit ba ang bilis mong makapagdesisyon? You're giving up everything just like that?" he asked.
"Sa tingin mo mabilis ako nakapagdesisyon? Ang tagal na, Maz. It all started when our communication faded."
"Jenim..."
I stood up.
"I'm sorry, Maz. I'm cutting all ties from here on forward."
^_^
