C27
Wala ako sa katinuan ng binuksan ko ang pinto ng taxi at lumabas rito. Napasandal pa ako dito bago ako tumayo at nagsimulang maglakad sa gitna ng kalsada.
He pushed me... because he was mad at me.
Kaya pala minsan, biglang sumasakit yung ulo ko. Kaya pala minsan, may naalala ako na akala ko panaginip ko lang. I didn't expect I would be like this.
Ang daming nakatago, pakiramdam ko hindi ako 'to! Ito ba yung nararamdaman kong mali? Na hindi tama?
“Chelsea, I'm sorry...” I heard Atlas voice behind me.
I suddenly stop from walking and then I burst into tears. Doon na ako napahagulgol at tipong pagod na pagod na sa mga nalalaman.
“I didn't tend to do it...it just, I-I'm so blinded by a-anger. Until now, it's still hunting me...” I heard how he whispered the last words.
Wala naman akong masabi dahil sa gulong-gulo na ang utak ko, hindi ko pa rin maalala ang mga sinasabi niya.
“After that incident, your parents tried to kill me too. I know, I deserve it, that's why I let them to throw spiteful words and accept their wrath. Pero si Mama...hindi siya pumayag na gan'on. She insisted to be your maid until her last breath...she will forever serve on your family just for my sake. Your parents found you, they got you treated abroad. That's why it explains, you don't remember me.” He explained.
I didn't expect that my life was already tangled before I knew. There so many secrets and truths that are hidden, and I don't know who should I listen to? Whose the person I'm going to talk with just to know the whole truth?
Bago pa ako makasagot, isang ilaw ang biglang tumama sa mukha ko dahilan para isangga ko ang braso ko.
“Louise...” Jerome calls me.
Agad akong napatayo at mabilis na dinamba siya ng yakap.
“P-Please...take me h-home... let's go, p-please.” I pleaded him.
Binuksan niya ang pinto ng passenger seat at pinaupo ako rito, nilagyan niya na rin ako ng seatbelt bago niya sinarado ang pinto. Nakita kong pinulot niya ang bag ko sa kalsada, at masama ang tingin kay Atlas na nakatingin saakin. He's not jealous or so what, his eyes are tired.
I just looked away and choose to closed my eyes, I heard the engine starts and my heart is still heavy. Same with my mind. Jerome asking me, but I didn't have enough energy to reply on him.
Sa sobrang pagod ko, hinila na ako ng kapaguran para matulog.
----
“Rise and shine! Aba senyorita, may pasok ka pa. Baka naman, gumising ka na d'yan!” Rinig ko ang pag-iingay ni Kylie sa kwarto ko.
She even open the blinds and make sure she's making a loud noise by acting like she's cleaning my room. But my eyes are still shut and my body didn't tend to move.
Wala akong gana para sa araw na 'to.
“May problema ka?” Kylie asked me. “Si Jerome ba 'yon? Oo, siya ata. Inuwi ka niya dito kagabi, mukhang pagod na pagod ka at basang-basa ka. Sabi niya, tawagan mo daw siya kapag nagising ka na. Saan ka ba galing kagabi?”
Naalala ko naman si Atlas. Lahat ng sinabi niya, pati ang nararamdaman niya, lahat ng ginawa niya kagabi...ang sakit.
My eyes automatically open and I saw Kylie sitting on the side of my bed, I immediately hug her and cries.
“N-Nagpakita si Atlas kagabi...” kwento ko habang umiiyak. “He reveals his identity, the truths and many more. H-Hindi ko kinaya lahat ng 'yon, Kylie. Pakiramdam ko, h-hindi ko kilala ang sarili ko sa mga sinabi niya...”
“Ang dami niyang sinabi tungkol saakin! Lahat...totoo, at ilan lang naalala ko doon. B-Bakit gan'on, Kylie? B-Bakit ganito?” I breakdown.
She just hugged me too and let me cry on her shoulders. Tumigil ako sa pag-iyak at natulala na lang sa kawalan.
“They robbed your freedom when you're still a child, they're trying to protect you, to ensure that you will have a better future. That's mostly parents do. It's pathetic but after all, they're just worried on our condition after we faced a challenge on our own.” Kylie said. “Pero ang pagiging protective nila ay sumobra, kaya eto, ang sarili mo ang naging bunga ng mga ginawa nila.”
“Ang sakit naman nila mag-alaala...” ani ko at naluha.
“Well, magulang natin sila eh. Kahit anong gawin natin, akala natin wala silang pakealam. Pero hindi pala, sa loob-loob nila, lagi silang nag-alaala sa mga kahihitnan ng mga desisyon natin sa buhay.”
Kumalas ako ng yakap sakan'ya at tumawa ng mahina.
“Gan'yan ba epekto ng Palawan sayo?”
“Gaga.”
Pareho kaming natawa at sabay kaming kumain ng agahan.
Pinili ko pa ring pumasok sa opisina kahit late na ako, I mean super late. Gumawa naman ako ng letter tungkol doon kaya hindi naman ako kinakabahan.
Walang pupuntahan si Kylie ngayon kaya gamit ko ang kotse ko papuntang opisina. Tumingin pa ako sa salamin bago bumaba ng kotse, nagsuot naman ako ng black rectangle glasses bago pumasok.
It's lunch time and I just decided to go to the cafeteria, hindi naman ako nahirapan hanapin sina Jerome dahil rinig ko kaagad ang ingay ni Jaja mula dito.
“Hey guys,” bati ko sakanila at umupo.
Lahat sila ay natigilan habang nakatingin saakin.
“Kilala niyo ba 'to?” bulong ni Jaja.
“Lakas ng loob nito ha, newbie ata.”
“Ang aga mo naman, Louise.” Puna ni Jerome at pinagdiinan ang salitang ‘aga’.
“Well, ganito talaga kapag maganda.” Mayabang kong sagot at inagaw ang apple juice niya.
“Hinahanap ka ni manager kanina! Kailangan mong bayaran 'yong pagtatakip na ginawa ko—”
“Sayo na lunch ko for today,” putol ko sa sasabihin ni Jaja.
Naganahan naman siya at agad na tumayo. Tumayo na rin si dahil kukuha siya ng desserts saamin. Ngayon, kaming dalawa na lang ang natira ni Jerome. Nakatitig siya saakin at ramdam ko 'yon.
“Ayos ka lang ba?” tanong nito na mabilis kong tinanguan.
“J-Just forget about what you saw yesterday...I don't want you to interfer with my business.” I replied.
“Wala naman akong planong gawin 'yon, pero kaibigan kita kaya kung kailangan ko makialam, gagawin ko.”
“Huwag na, kaya ko naman...”
Pabagsak niyang nilapag ang kutsara sa table at tinuro ako.
“'Yan! Kung alam mong hindi mo kaya, magsabi ka. Pwede bang maging totoo ka sa sarili mo, kahit isang beses lang?”
I didn't tend to rebut and just stay quiet. Paano naman ako magiging totoo sa sarili ko, kung ako mismo hindi ko kilala kung sino ako? I sighed and stand up.
“Akyat na ako, dalhan mo na kang frappe at chocolate cake ha.” Bilin ko kay Jerome at umalis ng cafeteria.
Habang nasa loob ng elevator, hawak ko ang letter na ginawa ko kanina. I will passed it later to Anthem's secretary.
Nakarating ako sa table ko at nilapag ang bag sa tabi, I froze at the moment when I saw a paper bag and yellow note paste on my monitor. I grab it and read what is written to it.
‘Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, enjoy eating Chels. I'm sorry too...’
From: your anonymous man
In just a minute, I found myself pulled my trash bin and I'm at the moment to throw the food, when I realize there's a thousand of children who probably didn't have a chance to eat breakfast. Tinabi ko na lamang 'yon at ibibigay ko na lang sa street children sa labas. Nilukot ko ang note at tinapon 'yon bago mag-umpisa magtrabaho.
Pagkaraan ng sampung minuto, dumating na rin sina Jerome. Nilapag niya ang binilin ko sa table ko at nagpasalamat naman ako sakan'ya bago siya pumunta sa table niya.
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