Dear readers,
My 6 year old nephew just told me to kill myself. I know that he has no clue just how much that hurts me, but damn. I still have no intention of telling my family about my depression though, especially since the likelihood of them actually believing me is so slim I might as well call it zero. We're a family that get's along really well, but none of us really share any personal feelings with each other. I wouldn't be surprised if all of us have some mental issues.
My "strategy" worked for a little while, but hardly long enough to matter. The loneliness is just too much. The only people I've been in contact with are my sister, Kai, and very occasionally teachers at school, Kai's friend's mum, and my sister's friend.
I really need to find a job. I've had job interviews but no call-backs afterwords. Mum's coming to visit and help out during March Break and she said she's drive me around so I can drop my resume at a bunch of places. Hopefully more contact with people will help me.
The problem with actually getting a job though, is that when I think about actually working it feels like such a daunting task. It's not like I ever much liked working, but I've never felt weary just from the idea of working. Just thinking about it saps my motivation.
I really wish I wasn't like this. I want to be able to go to work every day like my sister. I want to be able write and draw even when I don't really feel like it. I want to be able to live my life.
Unfortunately, that's just not in the cards for me right now.
I'll try to write more often, but I don't know if I'll be able to.
See ya.
YOU ARE READING
Dear Readers, part 2
Non-FictionThis is exactly what it sounds like. Basically a diary that can be freely read by anyone on Wattpad who wants to read it. Everything written here is true and it is all from my point of view. It is me, writing what I think, when I think it. Respond...
