Dear readers,
Before anyone reads anything, just letting you know that this may be a trigger for self-harmers. Maybe former sufferers of eating disorders too, I'm not completely certain.
I need someone - anyone - to talk to.
I thought about killing myself today... I wont, but I thought about it. I seriously considered self-harming.
I've never self-harmed. This is the closest I've ever come.
I don't want to.
But I really, really do.
I hoped robbers would break into the apartment so I could beg them to kill me. I thought of slowly starving myself, never eating again. I had to force myself to get up and stuff some food into my mouth.
My sister and her son are upstairs. I can't let them see me like this. I never let anyone ever see me when I'm like this. I can't do it. Through words is one thing, but I hate letting people see me when I'm vulnerable. If there's anyone who's read all my entries until this point, then they stuff about me than none of my family know - stuff my best friend doesn't know.
Even just typing this out is helping. I still feel like shit, but at least I don't think I'll seriously harm myself anymore.
I still need someone to talk to, though. I can't do this alone anymore. I've been like this since middle school, though it's definitely gotten way worse through the years.This whole time, I've gone it pretty much solo.
It's too scary to tell someone I know.
Please. I don't want this to take me over.I don't want to hate myself forever. I need someone.
Sorry to always be piling all this shit on you guys.
YOU ARE READING
Dear Readers, part 2
Non-FictionThis is exactly what it sounds like. Basically a diary that can be freely read by anyone on Wattpad who wants to read it. Everything written here is true and it is all from my point of view. It is me, writing what I think, when I think it. Respond...
