Monster (A Bucky Barnes Fanfiction)

74

Early the next morning I'm dressed in a red v-neck t-shirt, super distressed olive green skinny jeans, and a pair of studded taupe-colored combat boots. I walk into the room which was turned into my art room when I was a kid. I grab a canvas and my cup of art pencils. I then put my headphones in, playing my music, and begin the drawing that has been in my mind since yesterday.

Several hours later a knock sounds at the door, and Shuri enters. She smiles but then looks shocked at the drawing, which is still in progress.

"Whoa, that's incredible," she says, walking over to get a closer look.

"You think so?" I ask.

"Think so? I know so." Shuri takes my arm. "come on, you've been in here all morning and I'm sure you need food and blood, and Luka's up now."

I sigh and put my pencils away. "You're right, I do and I have to tell him he's going to be a big brother because I'm showing now."

Shuri shakes her head, smiling, clearly amused that I'm still struggling with telling my almost five-year-old he's going to have a sibling. I stop by the bathroom to wash before joining her in the dining hall where a plate of food sits. Luka looks up from his plate when we enter and rushes to my side. I hug him.

"Good morning sweetheart, did you sleep well?" I ask, brushing a hand through his fiery curls.

"Yes, mama," he says, smiling.

I kiss his forehead. "Good, go finish your breakfast. Mama has something to tell you."

He nods and returns to his seat.

"I'll take you to the lab for the blood bags once you're done," Shuri tells me as I sit down beside Luka.

"Thank you."

I turn to Luka. "Luka, Mama has something important to tell you."

"Ok."

I take a breath. "You are going to have a baby brother or sister. You're going to be a big brother," I point to my small baby bump that is now showing. "He or she is here, growing in Mama's tummy."

He tilts his head. "Like I did?" he asks and I nod.

"Yep, just like you did."

"Will you still love me?"

I run a hand through his curls. "Of course sweetheart, I have more than enough love for the both of you."

"Like how you love me, Daddy, Shuri, T'Challa, and Steve?"

I nod. "Yes, just like that."

He smiles then hugs me. "I can't wait to be a big brother."

I smile and kiss his head as he goes back to his food and Shuri takes a seat beside me. "That went well."

I nod. "I'm glad he's ok with this and reacted so positively. I wish Bucky was here to see it."

"I know," Shuri says, squeezing my hand.

"So that drawing is coming along nicely," Shuri says after a moment of silence.

"Yeah, I'm liking the way it's looking."

She laughs. "I'm surprised, you're usually such a perfectionist with your work that you never seem satisfied."

"Well, I think that I've improved over the years and that maybe it's just me being pregnant and not as picky anymore, who knows."

"You know you probably could find out the gender soon if you want."

I look down at the almost gone food on my plate. "I don't know, Shuri," I say hesitantly.

"Why not?" She asks, confused.

I fiddle with Bucky's dog tags, which she instantly notices.

Shuri sighs. "Because he's in cryo and he'll miss it."

I nod. "It just feels.... wrong to me to do it without him, but we don't know how much longer he'll be in there, so I might have to. It just kind of sucks."

Shuri hugs me. "I'm sure he'd understand plus that way you can think of names. Not to mention I still am giving you disks and photos so he might not be here now but can see them later. Plus, then Luka can know dor sure if he's going to have a sister or brother."

"That is true," I say as I finish my food. I look at Luka, who is now done as well, and smiling at me.

Shuri stands and holds out her hand to me. "Come on, we have to go to the lab, anyway."

I sigh. "Alright, fine."

Shuri smiles. "Yes!"

I roll my eyes but grab her hand and Luka's and follow her to the lab.

After drinking the blood I need and getting Luka's his and getting him settled in a seat where he's coloring, Shuri has me lay on the table and she does her thing and we look at the baby on the screen. I smile at the image of the little baby.

"Since you're four months, your chances of miscarriage are less. And....you're having a daughter."

Tears come before I can stop them, my smile growing wider. Shuri hugs me.

"I'm having a daughter," I whisper in awe.

Luka looks over and smiles. "I'm getting a sister!" he exclaims excitedly and Shuri and I laugh. I'm happy he's so excited about all of this.

Shuri smiles at me, "Any ideas on names?"

I shrug. "I had been thinking of a few, both boys and girls, but I did just have an idea but I really want to wait for Bucky so we can decide, or at least wait as long as I can."

"You're not going to tell me what you thought of, are you?" Shuri says, annoyed.

I grin, "Nope," I say, popping the 'p'.

Shuri gaps at me. "That's rude Nadya."

I shake my head and look over at the room where Bucky is. Shuri smile and nudges my shoulder.

"Go see him, tell him the good news," she says. "I'll watch Luka for you."

I give her an annoyed look. "You know he can't hear anything I say."

She shrugs. "Never stopped you before."

I sigh and get off the table. "That's true."

Shuri nudges me again, and I walk to the room. Once in, I sit in the chair that was put in there for me once they first caught me visiting him. I sigh.

"Hey there Serge," I say. "I miss you."

I look down. "I miss you a lot. So does Luka. It hasn't been long, but it's kind of hard without you, always has been."

I sigh, trying to hold in the tears. "Um, we're having a daughter. I hope you won't be too disappointed with that. I'm mean, who knows, you might've preferred another boy." I break off and laugh a bit. "I've been thinking of names. I had been thinking for girl names, maybe Natalia Winnifred for Nat and your mom or Rebecca Zoya for your sister you talked about and my ma. Or we could do variations or if you want something else, we can talk it over. I had thought about Sonya, but I know Sonya would have disowned me if I named my daughter after her. She even told me so last time I saw her." I sigh and choke down a sob. "I just really wish you were here so we could actually talk about this. And see our son growing up. But Shuri thinks she might be getting close to a solution so we just have to wait and see." I sigh and stand, touching the glass. "I love James,"

I wipe my tears and walk out.