What the hell is happening

To Rule or to Love?

Lilith's POV

I barely got any sleep last night. I couldn't even get myself to look at the kitchen counter. Something in Haniel's voice broke me. I want to be with him, but I'm afraid he'll hurt me again. Someone knocks on my door. Alissa stands at attention when I open the door. "Good morning," I tell her. She nods once.

I try to seem disinterested. "I thought Haniel would be my 'guard.'"

"We switched."

"Oh." Great. He's avoiding me. "Do you want to come in?"

She shakes her head. "You have breakfast with your family." She turns and begins to walk away. I almost don't follow her to see what she'll do. We reach the dining room, and she opens the door for me. I walk inside, Elizabeth and Dante already seated. It still hurts to see them, to pretend I'm not mad at them. I can't force myself to feel a connection with them.

Alissa nudges me ahead then closes the door. Always a treat. I take my seat silently. Elizabeth smiles at me. "Good morning."

I nod and focus on the plate a Rye placed in front of me. Dante puts down his cup of coffee. "I heard your shooting lessons are going better."

I nod again.

He continues. "It's good to see you making progress for your future role."

Elizabeth places her hand on mine, and I stiffen. I want to yank it off and disinfect the area. "Lilith sweetie," it sounds wrong and bare coming from her mouth. "Tonight we'll be having dinner with some very important people."

Tony finally walks in, and I fight the urge to see if Haniel's with him. He sits next to me, and I notice his eyebrows creasing when he sees Elizabeth's hand on mine. I focus my gaze on my scrambled eggs. Elizabeth addresses Tony. "I was just telling Lilith about tonight's dinner party. Both of you will be attending." It's a command.

I pull my hand away. I can't take being with her anymore. Dante speaks again. He's always in the sidelines, saying a word or two. "I've arranged a family outing for us. Next week." He actually sounds enthusiastic. "It'll be a great opportunity for us to get to know each other and show people that we are united."

I scoff. Families don't 'get to know each other.' You're kind of supposed to be there since day one. Besides, I wouldn't be too surprised to know that they've been watching me since I was a kid.

Elizabeth picks up where he left off. "It's perfect timing. There are only three weeks left before your debut." Debut first, birthday second. Tony and I are turning eighteen soon, and they don't seem to care about that. Or maybe that's our birthday present. 'Happy birthday kid. Here's a country.'

A thought pops in my head. Haniel's birthday is a few days before mine. Should I get him something? What's the perfect gift for someone who pretended to be kidnapped with you then initiated a relationship then started avoiding you when you were trying to forgive him? A watch?

After I'm done with my plate, I excuse myself. I'm surprised to see Alissa waiting by the door. Wait, if she's here then...my eyes turn to find Haniel staring straight ahead. As if I'm not even there.

"I'm going back to my room." I tell Alissa. She says nothing which I'm getting used to. We walk in silence. She's walking behind me, and I check a few times to make sure she didn't fly away. God this girl really needs bells. When I walk into my room, Alissa stops by the door.

"You're not coming in?" I ask her.

"I'll guard from here."

With a sigh, I walk inside leaving the door open. "Please come in. You can guard me from the inside."