Dead Girl Walking ― Aaron Minyard

03. burned out

i am burned out, i smell of smoke
it seeps through her cracks and so i start to choke
sentences sit in her mouth that are templated
you waited, smiling, for this?
― dodie

♦

THE FOXHOLE COURT was a white-and-orange monstrosity. It was almost blinding and hideous enough for Mara to quit the team then and there, but it was either Palmetto or death, and quite frankly—she wasn't ready to die just yet.

Though, give her a few losing matches with the Foxes and that would probably change.

Mara was already pissed off (though that was increasingly becoming her default these days), and spending a car ride squished between Aaron and Nicky was only making her more homicidal by the minute. Add to that the new kid's clear and loud anxiety and Nicky's incessant chatter as he tried to get to know said new kid (to no avail), and she was actually proud of herself for not killing anyone.

They passed four parking lots before Andrew turned into a fifth. There were a couple of cars there already, but none were parked at the curb closest to the stadium. The stadium itself was surrounded by a barbed wire fence. Gates were placed equidistant down the length of the fence for handling a game night crowd, and all of them were chained shut.

Neil went right up to the fence, staring at the outer grounds like a little kid staring at the tigers at the zoo. Nicky followed after him.

Mara and the others headed straight to the door that let the team into the stadium, waiting for Nicky and Neil to join them. When they finally did, Nicky told Neil, "This is our entrance. Code changes every couple of months, but Coach always lets us know when it does. Right now it's 0509—May and August, get it? Coach and Abby's birth months. Told you they were boning. When's your birthday?"

"It was in March," Neil said.

"Oh, we missed it," Nicky said, disappointed. "But we recruited you in April, so that should count as the world's greatest present. What'd your girlfriend get you?"

Neil looked at him. "What?""

"Come on, cute face like yours has to have a girlfriend," Nicky said. "Unless you swing my way, of course, in which case please tell me now and save me the trouble of having to figure it out."

Mara closed her eyes and exhaled out of her nose, already thoroughly done.

"What's it matter?" Neil asked.

"I'm curious," Nicky said.

"He means nosey," Aaron said.

"Invasive's probably a better word," Mara muttered.

"I don't swing either way," Neil said. "Let's go in."

"Bullshit," Nicky said.

"I don't," Neil said, an edge in his voice. "Are we going in or not?"

In response, Kevin tapped in the code and pulled the door open. "Go."

Neil didn't have to be told twice. He went down the hall, and the others followed.

The first room they came to was a lounge. Three chairs and two couches took up most of the space, forming a semicircle around an entertainment center. The TV was large, a good size to watch game film or news coverage.

The rest of the walls were covered in photographs. Some were official: team photos, snapshots of the Foxes' goals, and pictures clipped from newspapers. The majority, though, looked like candids taken from the Foxes themselves. These were scattered anywhere they could fit and held up by tape. Taking up one entire corner was a clump of photos featuring the Foxes' three ladies.