Dead Girl Walking ― Aaron Minyard

11. all eyes on me

you say the ocean's rising
like i give a shit
you say the whole world's ending
honey, it already did
― bo burnham

♦

"WE'RE GOING TO DIE," Kevin muttered in French, his voice muffled since his face was buried in his pillow to the point that Mara wondered if he could even breathe.

"Probably," Mara responded.

"You're not helping," Kevin complained. 

"I can leave," Mara said. 

"Please don't," he mumbled. 

Mara hummed. They both knew she'd been bluffing, anyway. 

They'd been wallowing in their own individual ways since they left the meeting, sequestered in Kevin and Andrew's bedroom to hide from the world for just a bit longer. Mara knew she would have to face the music and go to her own dorm eventually, and she could only hope her roommates had enough sense and decency not to bombard her with questions tonight. All she wanted after today was to just lay down and pretend her life wasn't a complete and utter shitshow. 

There was a soft knock on the door, and Nicky poked his head in. He looked at Mara and gestured to Kevin. "He asleep?" 

"No," Kevin mumbled into his pillow. 

"Oh," Nicky said quietly. "Have you guys seen Andrew?" 

Mara shook her head. "Not for a little while." 

"Shit," Nicky muttered. 

Mara raised an eyebrow. "Did you lose him?" 

"...Maybe," Nicky admitted sheepishly. 

"We're going to die," Kevin mumbled again. 

"Quiet," Mara muttered. To Nicky, she asked, "Did you try calling him?" 

Nicky snapped his fingers. "That's a good idea." 

Mara rolled her eyes as he retreated back to the living room. 

A few minutes later, as Kevin finally fell asleep, the door opened once more. Aaron appeared with two mugs, the steam just barely visible in the darkness of the room. 

"Is he awake?" Aaron asked, nodding at Kevin. 

"No," Mara said. "He finally passed out." 

Aaron nodded. "I made tea." 

"Congratulations," Mara muttered. 

He made a face that was almost endearing in its clear annoyance. "Do you want some or not?" 

"Sure," Mara mumbled. As she took the offered mug, she added a quiet, "Thanks." 

"Look at that," Aaron said. "You didn't even burst into flames." 

Mara rolled her eyes. "Fuck off." 

Aaron rolled his eyes back at her, but his tone was as close to kind as Mara figured it could get as he asked, "Are you okay?" 

"Don't ask stupid questions," Mara said, taking a sip of the chamomile tea. 

They drank quietly for a few minutes before Aaron opened his mouth again.  "Can you even be on the same court as him?"

Mara knew who he was talking about, but it was the fact that he knew that she hated. She wasn't naïve enough to hope Nicky and Aaron hadn't picked up on what Riko had done to her the way Andrew had, but she still loathed them knowing something so vile about her past.