Dead Girl Walking ― Aaron Minyard

58. what if it doesn't end well?

when the world is over and we go under
would you still be mine?
― chloe moriondo

[tw: brief/vague mentions of throwing up; description of burns & scars]

♦

THE FOXES SPENT MOST OF THE NEXT DAY OUTDOORS, after drowning their respective hangovers in coffee and Gatorade. They hiked up and down the nearby trails and signed up for some afternoon horseback riding—as in, everyone but Mara and Aaron, because Mara wasn't enough of a masochist to try to get on a fucking horse with her injuries. 

Her brother on the other hand...

As Neil came into the kitchen, torso (and the damage painted across it) bared, Mara watched her teammates react in silence, cowed by Renee's warning a few minutes prior. Nicky flinched and looked away, whereas Aaron surveyed the damage with what Mara guessed was a premed student's academic interest. Dan opened her mouth but caught herself in the nick of time. Matt went from shock to anger in a nanosecond, and Allison averted her gaze as quickly as she could. 

Mara had yet to see the extent of the damage on Neil. Some of it was familiar to her. There was the iron-shaped scar on his shoulder—a punishment for not being perfectly still and quiet when CPS came to visit. Mara still remembered how his skin had peeled off with the hot metal, and swallowed the visceral horror she also remembered. And there was the looping scar that curved over his collarbone from one of their father's knives, some consequence for a perceived slight from son against father. 

But there were new scars, too, from his time on the run with their mother. There were scars from bullets, scars from knives. There was a shapeless patch of pale skin from shoulder to navel. 

And, of course, the newest additions to his unwitting collection. 

The tension felt like a heavy, wet blanket, and Neil looked close to suffocating under it, so Mara leaned against the counter at her back and said, "Hope the horseback riding was worth the extra time on the bench."

Neil rolled his eyes at her, but the stiffness of his shoulders melted a bit. "Like you'll be back on the court before me. You were the one who got stabbed, remember?" 

"Rings a bell," Mara said flippantly, just to get him to snort. "Ten bucks says I'm still put on before you." 

"We'll find out next week," Neil challenged. 

"Next week?" Aaron repeated, dumbfounded. 

"Absolutely not," Dan said. "You little fuckers aren't playing. You think Coach will let either of you on the court when you look like that? I'll sub in for Neil. Renee can help Allison out one more time, right?" She looked to Renee long enough to see Renee's nod. "Trust us to hold the line. You two focus on healing so we can use you in semifinals." 

Mara made a face, but knew better than to protest. 

Neil sighed. "I trust you," he said. "Thank you." 

"Oh, wow," Nicky said. "Who's humanizing who in that relationship, anyway?" 

Andrew casually reached for the wooden block of knives. Renee moved it out of his reach without batting an eye and smiled at the look Andrew gave her for interfering. Nicky took advantage of Andrew's distraction to hide behind Kevin, who promptly made a face and abandoned him for Andrew's side once more. 

"Speaking of," Allison said, "I'm still waiting for an explanation, Neil. When are we going to talk about this?" She waggled her fingers at Neil and Andrew.