Dead Girl Walking ― Aaron Minyard

06. graceland too

doesn't know what she wants
or what she's gonna do
a rebel without a clue
― phoebe bridgers

[trigger warnings: casual mention/threat of sexual assault; rape joke; knives; threatened violence; mentions of past violence/abuse]

♦

NEIL WAS WAITING FOR THE OTHERS ON THE COURT. If there was anything to say about the recruit, it was that he was eager. For now, at least—who knew how long that enthusiasm would last under Kevin's less-than-patient tutelage.

Kevin pushed Mara down onto the bench, enduring her furious glare at being banned from practice yet again, especially since he and Andrew were going out today.

If looks could kill, he'd be about a hundred feet under by now.

"It's two more weeks," Aaron muttered as he got his racquet from the stick rack. "It won't kill you."

Mara turned her glare on him. "Go take a ball to the dick, asshole."

He just rolled his eyes and followed the others out to the court.

Mara crossed her arms over her chest and watched Kevin propel Andrew toward the home goal. Andrew was laughing at whatever Kevin was telling him—probably telling him to actually put in an effort.

She lasted ten minutes sitting on the bench before she got restless, standing up on the bench to pace back and forth across it, trying to busy herself with focusing on her balance. It was only half-successful, though, and she gave up after another ten minutes.

She tried to watch the practice, but it made her blood boil to watch Nicky and Aaron out there practicing in her position, playing the game that was her lifeblood, on a court that was supposed to be her home. She couldn't stand to just watch and not be out there where she belonged—the only place she'd ever belonged.

She stood up from the bench, shoving her way through the door back to the locker room. She stole a ball from the gear closet on her way, and sat down on the bench in there, tossing the ball from one hand to the other, trying to run through game strategies in her head to keep herself distracted.

It worked for a while, until the locker room door was pushed open and Nicky's voice came filtering in. "—a lot of grief this spring," he was saying as he, Neil, and Aaron walked in. Aaron went ahead of them to the water fountain and Nicky propped himself against the wall to watch Neil. "Andrew walked off the court for an entire month. He said he'd break his own fingers if Coach made him play with Kevin again."

"But he's playing now," Neil argued.

Nicky took a couple quick sips from the fountain as soon as Aaron stepped out of the way and smeared a hand across his mouth. "Only because Kevin is. Kevin got back on the court with a racquet in his right hand, and Andrew wasn't far behind him. Up until then they were fighting like cats and dogs. Now look at them. They're practically trading friendship bracelets and I couldn't fit a crowbar between them if it'd save my life." He threw a wink in Mara's direction. "Better watch out before Andrew steals your boy."

Mara lifted her hand to throw her ball at him, annoyed when Aaron snatched it out of her hand before she could go through with it.

"But why?" Neil asked Nicky. "Andrew hates Kevin's obsession with Exy."

"The day they start making sense to you, let me know," Nicky said, moving so Neil could get a drink. "I gave up trying to sort it all out weeks ago. You could ask, but neither of them will answer. But as long as I'm doling out advice? Stop staring at Kevin so much. You're making me fear for your life over here."