Dead Girl Walking ― Aaron Minyard

50. i know the end

i'll find a new place to be from
a haunted house with a picket fence
to float around and ghost my friends
― phoebe bridgers

♦

UNFORTUNATELY FOR THE FOXES, Binghamton University was less than eight hundred miles from home—just barely too close to justify flying. That meant they were out of bed by five and on the road before six. Between lunch, unavoidable bathroom breaks, and the rush hour traffic they were sure to hit on the way up the coast, it was destined to be a long ride.

With spring break next week and midterms behind them, there was no schoolwork to preoccupy Mara. There was only her increasingly pessimistic thoughts and a constant replay of her father's taunts in her head to keep her company.

It was a long ride.

At the four-hour mark, the upperclassmen made a strident case to upgrade the bus next season with a TV. Wymack feigned not to hear them, but he couldn't tune them out forever. Finally he promised to look into it if they won finals. The Foxes knew Wymack-speak well enough to know it was a "yes" no matter how this season ended. It didn't help their boredom today, but it was something to look forward to for next year.

Six hours in, they stopped for an early lunch, and Dan got Kevin talking about the Binghamton Bearcats on the way across the parking lot. Kevin hesitated in the aisle, torn between arguing the merits of the night's opponents with his teammates and staying within Andrew's protective circle. His indecision effectively blocked the Foxes' foot traffic, since he'd been second onto the bus behind Andrew.

It took Andrew only a moment to realize he'd lost Kevin. He gave a dismissive gesture, so Kevin slid into the seat behind Dan and Matt. Aaron and Nicky claimed the bench one behind them, leaving a seat for Neil behind Kevin. Mara doubted they were that interested in what Kevin had to say; they were more likely just bored out of their skulls and desperate to socialize with people other than each other.

"Neil?" Dan asked, and Mara looked up to see that Neil was still standing in the aisle, unmoving.

Kevin frowned at Neil like he had no idea why Neil wasn't already sitting down behind him. When he started for the back of the bus, Kevin tried to call him back with an annoyed, "Get back here."

Neil neither looked back nor slowed. "No."

Kevin fussed at Neil in French: "Remember that you gave me your game. You don't have the right to walk away from me when I am trying to teach you."

"I gave my game to you so we could get to finals," Neil sent back, "but you said yesterday you don't expect us to make it there. You've given up on us, so I'm taking my game back. I don't owe you anything anymore."

"Stop acting like a spoiled child. Tonight's game rides on how well our line performs. You need to hear this more than anyone does."

"I've heard it all before," Neil said. "Leave me alone."

Neil claimed Kevin's abandoned seat, second from the back and right in front of Andrew's. Dan only waited a couple seconds to see if anything else was forthcoming before prodding Kevin's attention back to their aborted conversation.

Mara took her seat in the middle of the bus, two seats away from anyone on either side, and told herself the pang of loneliness was the price to pay to spare her team of any grief they might have over her end.

Three hours later, Abby took an exit ramp to a busy street. There was a travel center two stoplights down, one half packed with diesel pumps and big rigs, the other half crowded with regular traffic. Abby found them a parking spot on the trucks' side and killed the engine.