Dead Girl Walking ― Aaron Minyard

55. this love

these hands had to let it go free, and
this love came back to me
― taylor swift

♦

MARA KNEW THEY WERE GETTING CLOSE TO CAMPUS when Wymack parked the bus outside a gas station. It took three Foxes to carry back enough coffees for everyone, and they didn't bother to pass the cups out.

A couple minutes later, the Foxhole Court rolled into view outside the window, and Mara wondered if she'd ever felt a homecoming as strong as this.

Wymack killed the engine, and the team filed off the bus one-by-one. They trailed inside and settled down in the lounge, and Dan, Allison, and Renee handed out drinks. Wymack had filled a plastic bag with snack foods, everything from powdered donuts to chips, and he upended it on the table for everyone to dig through.

When Wymack sat down, the twins—side-by-side on one of the couches, bracketed by Minyards—were the center of attention once more.

Neil looked around the room at the Foxes, then at Mara. "I don't know where to start."

"The beginning?" Dan suggested.

They were less interested in Nathaniel and Elizabeth Wesninski than they were in Neil Josten and Mara West. Mara knew Kevin had shared some of the truth at her behest, but she didn't know what all he'd told them. Chances were, she and Neil were repeating a detail or two, but no one stopped them.

They told them who their parents were. Neil admitted that he'd played little league Exy alongside Mara for a couple years under a different name and in a different position. He told them about Mary's abrupt decision to run away, to leave one child behind and take the other, the terrible eight years on the run, and the confrontation that ended with the woman's death. He told them how he'd ended up in Millport and why he tried out for the Exy team there.

He told them why he'd risked everything to come here, what it'd meant when he found out who the Moriyamas were, and how many times he'd thought about running away before he cut things too close. He told them how he'd intended to end the year, how he'd hoped to at least make it through championships and a rematch with Riko but how he'd realized months ago he wasn't going to be back the following year. It was the answer they probably deserved most, because that fatalistic decision had colored every other interaction with them and fueled his determination to not let them get too close to him.

And Mara told them about Nathan's calls—about how he'd made contact with her a few minutes into hers and Neil's real birthday, about how he'd threatened to take the Foxes out if she tried to warn them or stop him. She told them about her tutor being one of her father's men, about his threats toward them.

She told them how pulling away had seemed like the right choice, and how, if she had to do it again, she'd do the same if it meant no one got hurt because of her. She told them how she'd accepted her own death at Nathan's hands, but how she'd gone after Neil in Baltimore because she couldn't accept his.

The Foxes listened to it all without interruption and sat in silence for a long time. The eventual questions were inevitable, and the twins answered everything they were asked. The team seemed startled at first by the honesty, no matter the story that had come before it, and were emboldened by the twins' unhesitating responses, especially Neil's.

Renee said nothing until everyone else's curiosity had been temporarily assuaged, then somehow made a dire what-if sound almost kind.

"You said your uncle is negotiating a truce with Kengo. What if he can't?"

Mara didn't waste their time softening her response. "They will get rid of us."

"You're not serious," Matt said, alarmed.