Dead Girl Walking ― Aaron Minyard

38. happy xmas (war is over)

so this is christmas,
and what have we done?
― john lennon & yoko ono

♦

MARA HAD NEVER BEEN TO NEW YORK CITY. She'd never expected to have the chance, but then Matt invited her and the rest of Andrew's lot to join him for winter break (for some reason). 

And she wouldn't even be able to enjoy it—because while she was in the Big Apple, her brother would be in the hell she spent her entire adolescence in. 

She and Kevin stopped by Neil's room as he was rifling through his dresser. He looked up as they stepped inside.

"Can I give you something to take with you?" Neil asked Kevin. "Will you promise to keep it safe?"

When Kevin nodded, Neil unlocked his safe and pulled a binder out. When Kevin took hold of it, Neil held fast to one end. "Don't open it."

"I don't want to know," Kevin said.

Neil let go, and Kevin tucked it under one arm. Neil pushed his safe closed and put it back.

"Neil," Kevin said when Neil got to his feet.

"I'm coming back," Neil said. "You promised you'd finish this year with me. I'm holding you to that."

He slung his bag over his shoulder and moved to slip past them, but at the last second, Mara grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Don't make things more difficult for yourself than they have to be," she said, more plea than advice. "Don't be stupid in there." 

"It's like you don't know me at all," Neil said. 

"Neil," she said, insistent. 

"I'm coming back," he repeated. He didn't say anything else, but Mara heard the promise in his voice. 

This time, I'll come back. 

Mara swallowed hard and let go of his arm, letting him walk away from her, wondering if there would ever come a day when he didn't. 

♦

It came as no surprise that Mara had never had a decent Christmas. Really, she'd never had a Christmas. No one celebrated holidays in the Nest, and the Wesninskis were far from the type of family to decorate Christmas trees or exchange presents.

Suffice to say, she didn't know what to expect out of the holiday break. 

Matt's mother (and, by extension, Matt) lived in a penthouse apartment that felt worlds homier than any place Mara had ever been in. Randy Boyd wasn't there when they arrived, but Matt said she was bringing home dinner from a Chinese restaurant the Boyds' apparently frequented. 

According to Matt, none of them had lived until they'd tasted the restaurant's chicken teriyaki skewers.

"Okay," Matt said, clapping his hands like a middle school teacher calling for attention. "So, we've got two guest bedrooms." He looked between the four of them, looking both unsure and mildly curious. "So, uh... how do you want to divvy them up?" 

The automatic answer was for Mara and Kevin to share one bedroom and Nicky and Aaron to share the other, but it wasn't like Matt hadn't picked up on Mara and Aaron's... something. Really, she was surprised the upperclassmen hadn't demanded details yet. Maybe they were being courteous, given the circumstances when they found out, but Mara wasn't so sure. 

She didn't think courteous was synonymous with Fox. 

Mara looked at Aaron, who was already looking back at her, eyebrow raised. She nodded back.