Shattered Legacies: Book 1, Holo Change

💠Royanna journal 1💠

I don't know what to write...
My name is Royanna, I'm 13 years old and I'm living someplace called a chat-oh.

My doctor gave me this book.. the pages are all empty and I don't know why.

Someone suggested I write in it, my thoughts and feelings.
So... I guess that's what I'm doing?

School is over. The first part anyway. We had an exam where these people came and talked about their roles here at... The Order of Kismet..

One of them I knew. Say-tow. He's nice. And the other one I met later that day. Loo-see-in. He's a red coat, a high rank here. And Say-tow is a member of some committee that watches over us.
Knowing that makes me nervous around him now. Like I need to be careful how I act.
I mainly just stay quiet. (not that I talked a lot before)

I'm both happy and sad school is done.
On one side it means I don't have to see the others who make me feel bad. And on the other I'm bored.
We have a week to do whatever we want until we start our battle training.
One week of boredom.
Three days have passed already, and I've mostly stayed in my room. I don't know what to do, how to fill my time.
What can I do?

The place is really big. I don't want to explore it. I might get in trouble, or lost. So I just sit here and look out my window. Outside is so pretty. My doctor said we could go out there, and I see other fresh bloods (people like me with a white coat) out there. But I don't know how to go there. Something tells me jumping out of the window would be a bad idea.
I did leave my room yesterday.
That was a mistake.

Aside from eating I usually stay in my room. But yesterday I wanted to go to the room with the couch to see if Garth was there. I started thinking about this.. This. Being here. And I thought he might have answers.
But on my way I ran into a girl named Floor-ah. She has blond hair and is really pretty.
She's also mean.

She and a boy she's always around, he has green hair, called to me. They started asking things that were making fun of me. And saying untrue things.
They called me a "defective doll"...
I tried to say something in defense... But I couldn't. My voice got all squeeky and I got embarrassed. They made comments as I ran back to my room.
My eyes were leaking. I felt bad. My chest weirdly hurt.

Sareena, the nice nurse lady asked if I was ok. I didn't answer.
She suggested I use this.. jurnal to help with my emotions.
New born out cast are fragile, she said, our minds are still settling in. So we feel things harder because of our.. hor mons..

I don't understand much of that. But it makes me question what's going on again.
Where am I? Why am I here? Who are these people? Why do I keep getting these weird dreams?
I have so many questions.. but nobody will answer me. I'm so confused.
I can't remember anything before waking up in my room one day, and even that's fuzzy. The only bits I have are from before things started to get clearer in my head. Until I could make sound.
But I know that's not how it's supposed to be. At least.. I don't feel like it should.

I'm confused. Is anything I'm feeling right? Or am I confused about that to?

Thinking about it makes my head feel like it's full of static. Painful white noise. I should have asked that red coat when he stopped me in the hall. He seemed friendly, although a bit odd, he probably would have known what was going on.

I don't think I'll leave my room again until I have to. I don't want to see her again.
I don't want to hear her voice.
She makes me feel really bad, and she likes it.

At least I've got a few books in here. Books with words. A few about monsters, magic, history.. one about a goddess named Bedisa.. and then these books the nice lady brought me when I was learning how to read. They're called fictional stories.
I'm reading one about a princess who is learning how to control her own magic.
I wonder if she'd be nice. Is she inside the chat-oh to?

I don't know what else to write. So I'll stop here.