Shattered Legacies: Book 1, Holo Change

💠Chapter 8: Empty💠

(Acknowledgement: I'd like to thank my momma for helping me with the blood sample scene. I had no idea how they drew blood, so I consulted her.)

"...Souless.."
Royanna stood in front of her bathroom mirror, looking at her reflection with a steady gaze. Though it wasn't the solid swirling confusion and heartbreak that plastered her face that she was seeing. Not her steel gray eyes begging for something else, not her synthetically pink hair that draped from her head to her hips in straight locks and fading color. Not her clear demure face dusted with her blind of Japenese, Caucasian, and Vampire. Not her small shoulders and delicate body wrapped in the blank white cloth of her nightgown, not her thin arms and faint dips.

She saw none of it. Like the room she was in, all of that faded away into a background she couldn't care less about. Instead, her eyes were searching for something else, battering themselves with the deep seething, yet controlled force such fact set firmly in place. She stared hard, breathing slowly with precision directly at her pupils. Looking as if trying to pier through herself. She wanted to look inside. Look past her fading pink hair and biracial, bispecies features, her rounder face, light brown washed out eyebrows, high-ish cheek bones smaller nose thin lips, and sideways oval shaped eyes. Through the cold gray that pushed her efforts back like a protective wall, and get even the smallest glimpse at what she really looked like.
Something urking her to do so.

She grit her teeth softly in a breath out, frustration raising by the second thanks to how futile each attempt was. Feeling herself get close to something, and then pushed back. Her grip on the counter strengthening with the wish that it were the wall keeping her out, and her hands were strong enough to shatter it into billions of tiny pieces like a glass thrown out of anger. She wanted to look at her soul. Or where it was supposed to be. She wanted to look at it and see for herself so bad, she felt like she was fighting the urge to claw her chest open just to see if that's where it was hidden. Ripping through skin and bone, pulling herself apart for desperation sake. It was a sickening thought, made more vivid thanks to her exposure to blood already.

Her head felt clogged. She just wanted to curl up and cry. And at the same time, scream until every bit of inner confusion that ate away at her the last two days since reading that damn book was gone. Even if that meant making her throat sore or hacking up a lung. She wanted to break through whatever wall was stopping her from reading herself, she wanted to rip away at... something. Anything if it meant she'd understand. The holo feeling echoed around inside her turning into an almost crazed whirlpool of frustration and bitterness. But why? She questioned herself once again, closing her eyes in a hard blink for rest. Head falling.

Why? Why was this effecting her in such a way? According to her doctor, everyone else had already known that they had no soul. He'd said as much in their very first class. And... It wasn't as if she could remember it being any different. ...In fact, she never stopped to think about it before, but she couldn't remember anything before waking up in her room. She... had no memory.

Why didn't she-

"Royanna?" A loud knocking disrupted her thoughts, her nurse's familiar voice coming through her bathroom door sounding rushed and a little frustrated. "You're going to be late for your Healing assessment." She reminded. Royanna had been standing in front of her mirror for hours. With a sigh the girl left the mirror and opened the door. Walking past her nurse without a word and over to the dresser where her flip flops sat. She put them on, then grabbed her coat, her bag, and left. "Royanna, wait you didn't-" Closing the door before her nurse could tell her that she hadn't changed out of her nightgown. And doing so without so much as a smile to her either, which the woman found odd. Usually, the girl would thank her for the reminder as she was getting dressed. And if she was late, she would be in a bit of a hurry. But lately, not just today but the past few days, she's been much less cheerful. As if something had happened, she were in mourning. It made her feel worried, and make mental note to bring it up to her doctor.