Lost

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Bailee arrived at the great hall with Ron and Hermionie. People kept glancing at Bailee, a lot of people would whisper as she walked by. Of course she was ready for this. Ever since she had fought Voldemort in the graveyard and told everyone that he was back, everyone had mixed feelings about it. A lot of people, Including the Minister of Magic, didn't want to believe he was back. They just wanted to keep on living everyday life, even though people were disappearing and being killed every day. Once everyone had taken their seats, Dumbledore stood up to give his speech.
"I wish to welcome our new defense against the dark arts teacher, Professor Delores Umbridge," said Professor Dumbledore. Bailee could have sworn she saw Snape roll his eyes and give Professor Delores a hateful look.
"As usual our caretaker Mr. Filch had asked me to remind you..."
Dumbeldore was cut off by a small voice.
"Hem, Hem." Professor Dumbledore paused for a moment, then turned his head to look at Professor Umbridge. She stood up and began to walk towards the podium. Bailee wasn't really listening though. She stared at her empty plate. A feeling or emptiness was pited in her stomach. She looked around at all of her classmates. Bailee felt sick all of a sudden. "I'm going to go to the common room, I'll see you guys in a bit." she whispered to Ron and Hermionie. "Ok, we'll be up in a bit." said Hermionie with a smile. Bailee got up to leave. She saw a couple people stare at her as she walked towards the Great Hall doors. She quickly slipped outside and immediately started running for the nearest bathroom. She got inside and went into one of the stalls. She could feel her stomach churning as she leaned over the toilet. She was breathing heavily. She felt her stomach give another lurch and she turned to face the toilet again. It seemed like hours had passed once she finally calmed down. She was shaking and a cold icy feeling was seeping over her. Then came a feeling that surprised her. She felt angry.
How could she be so weak as to let this happen. She should be able to withstand it, she should be able to not cry everytime she thinks about her aunt and uncle's house, Cedric's death. But she couldn't help it as hot sickening tears came from her eyes. As they seeped down her face. She couldn't stop feeling the dreadful sadness, of a longing to escape her reality. A longing to be someone else. To not have to be the one to defeat Voldemort. To not have her scar burning everyday, only to be awoken every night by terrible thoughts and visions from Voldemort. She wanted to make herself hurt for everything she had done. All the pain she had caused for others. She felt emptiness where her heart should be. But despite all the numbness she cried in great heaving sobs. She wanted someone to hold her, to tell her it would all be ok. But she had no one, no one who would understand her pain. She didn't want to appear weak and helpless... So she sat there and continued to sob on the bathroom floor. The tears kept flowing until there were none left and she was left with the hollowness that would become her. She was left with the anger that would tear her apart. She was nothing more than a pleading cry for help. A soft whisper was inside of her trying to call out, trying to hold on, trying to save her. Was that a voice she heard calling out her name? No, even if it was, it wouldn't matter. The world had gone cold, and darkness was closing around her. She was sinking... sinking...slowly.

Bailee Potter Where stories live. Discover now