The Truth Is... [Brallon]

ROOTS

BRENDON'S POV:

It's been nearly a year since the night I tried to take my life and I haven't heard from Dallon after the time he came to see me in the hospital with Spencer. He finally realized that I was a lost cause. I refused to talk to him despite his many apologies, tears, and confessions of how he felt. It took me trying to kill myself for him to realize how much I meant to him AFTER leaving me for six months and cheating on me. Fuck. him.

He never truly loved me no matter what he said. For the simple fact, he cheated on me.

I've heard different things from different people about him, about how he's living his life in a drunken stupor, or that he had fully moved on and found someone new. Well, not someone new. It was Ryan. That one was kinda confirmed by the media with a picture of them on TMZ with each other's tongue down their throats. I hope he's happy. I hope Ryan is treating him better than he did me.

I'm not going to lie, that triggered me into another attempt. It hasn't been an easy year.

I've been too busy with the music that I promised Tyler to care about any of it. There's nothing that would change if I dwelled on the fact that I wasn't good enough for him.

I've also gotten help with my mental health since I've been staying with Tyler in LA. He's been a fucking gem and a lifesaver. He's been so kind to accept me into his home with his wife Christine. She's also a fucking gem. We've become close over the year I've been with them. She's so sweet and a savage when needed. Especially when it comes to Tyler or even me.

I don't feel so alone anymore, I don't feel as if everyone doesn't care. Tyler and Chris helped me more than they know.

Tyler and I are currently in his studio that was similar to my own that I used to have but lost we I left Vegas with nothing by my good looks. I miss it, but at least I can still be in a studio.

I've also gotten better about my self-esteem. I've cleaned up since then and Chris reminds me that I'm a handsome human being and not a freak. Yeah, they know that I'm intersex and they don't seem to mind. They have been nothing but accepting.

I know it's going to sound so fucking weird since Tyler is only a few years older than me, but I've come to think of them as parents that actually care. It's the best fucking feeling in the world.

Tyler and I are going over the details of the album. We decided to name it the truth is... I wrote six out of eighteen songs on my own and helped write one of them. again with the sixes. Hurricane, Out of my head, Love is Hell, Head above water, Drag me to hell, and The truth is... (I lied about everything) are the ones I wrote. They all revolved around the last year of my life and they were a good coping mechanism. Tyler and my therapist thought the same thing and I'm so grateful that Tyler let me release them on HIS album. I swear this man is a fucking saint.

Yes, I kinda stole Dallon's lyrics. But, I felt like I should release them to prove that I'm none of those things, that I'm better than I was before.

We were going over the lyrics for we were men, the song I promised to help Tyler with. I wrote most of that one too.

"God, these are so good, Bren! I can't believe I was so lucky to get your help with this album! I'm so fucking proud of you, man!"

His comment made me blush a little, but I cleared my throat to cover it up. "Yeah, it's no problem, Tyler. You and Chris have done so much for me. It's the least I could do, really."

He pulled me into a tight hug, keeping it no homo and I was grateful I had someone like Tyler and Christian in my life, a life I want to live because of them.

"I think we're finished here. We can probably release this next week! Wanna grab a beer? Maybe we can have a celebration party! Yes! let's do that!" Tyler was so excited when he pulled away from me, a contagious smile forming.

"Yeah, sure! Whatever you want, Ty."

"Awesome! Let's go get Christine and we can plan out the details for tonight."

It was only noon so we had plenty of time to figure out the details. I'm not going to lie, I'm actually excited to be around people again. Sure, I've been around Tyler, Chris, some of their friends, and some of mine. But, I haven't been around this many people in a year. It excites me and gives me anxiety at the same time. What if Dallon and Ryan come? No.. they wouldn't since they never met Tyler. Spencer was the only one that has met him. It would be nice to see Spencer again...

Maybe things will be okay after all.