What if

Chapter 1

Meredith POV

"I don't know how to raise a child with someone who doesn't know the difference between right or wrong." Derek said. As soon as he said this my heart broke in a million pieces. "Now I'm gonna be a bad mother?" I asked in disbelief my voice broke in the middle of the sentence. "You've been saying this for weeks. Maybe you're right. I- I just need space." He told me without looking at me then he walked out. He needs space, as in break from our marriage? When I was about to stand up, my phone went off. I looked down and saw that I had a message from Janet because of Zola. 'Oh please don't let it be something bad. I don't think I could handle one more thing.' I stood up and went to find Janet. She was talking with Alex about Zola's medical issue. "We are giving you temporary custody Dr.Grey." She told me with a smile. My expression was nothing like that. I was shocked. My marriage is on the rocks and now I've Zola with me and I have nothing at home. I nodded and went over to Zola's room. A nurse asked me a couple of questions because of Zola's crib or car seats. I don't have anything at home or with me. So she just gave these things to me. I tried to call Derk again but he ignored me. 'Wow, what if, I would bleed out in the middle of the damn rood and he wouldn't pick up. Ass.' I thought. Okay I can understand why he's mad but he doesn't know how it is to deal with Alzheimer's. I had to deal with it alone, I wanted to help Richard. I don't want him to go through the same as I did. I mean it was horrible and even Adele thought I was my mother, that was a punch in my face. I know I look a little like my mother but I never thought someone would call me Ellis with or without Alzheimer's and then Derek called me a bad mother. I had a bad mother, why would I be different? I'm just like my mother. The nurse interrupted my thoughts. "You are ready to go Dr.Grey." "Thank you." I said to her as I grabbed Zola in her car seat and went with her and all the things the nurse gave me to my car. I tried to call Derek again and he declined the call again so I talked to him over the voicemail. "Derek I know you don't want to talk to me right now, but this is emergent. It's about Zola. So call me if you can." I hung up and opened the back seat door, put Zola in the back and made sure that her seatbelt was right. I closed her door and went over to the driver's seat. Stepped in and drove home. At least that was what I thought.

I was halfway home as I stopped at a red traffic light. I looked to the backseat where Zola was sleeping. I sighed. I never thought I would be a mom. Derek's words still hit me of course. I hate that he told me I would be a bad mom. I shook my head and began to drive as my traffic light showed green. I heard screeching brakes, I looked to my left and saw a car. It crashed at full speed into mine and Zolas side. The last thing I heard was my crying baby.

I woke up after a few seconds I think or minutes. Zola was still crying. I checked myself. I was good, at the moment so I stepped out of the car and went over to Zola. I took her out of the car seat and bounced her on my hip, which hurts a little but Zola needed me right now. Soon she calmed down and cuddled into my chest. "Ma'am? The ambulance is on his way." Someone said, I just nodded and sat down by my car. The driver who hit us was good. He has nothing but a shock. After a few minutes I heard the sound of an ambulance coming towards us. I sighed in relief, then I noticed that I was bleeding. I brought my fingers up to my face and touched a wound on my forehead. Soon the paramedics sat by my side. "Can you tell me what hurts?" A paramedic asked. "Just my head." I replied. "Okay and with the baby?" he asked. "I think she's okay." "Okay, we're bringing you to Seattle Grace." He told me as he helped me up. I was a little bit dizzy. The Paramedic brought me and Zola to the ambulance and I sat down on the gurney. I closed my eyes as a new wave of dizziness overcame me. "Ma'am you good?" The Paramedic asked. "Yeah, I think." I answered. We arrived at the hospital. The door opened and my husband was there. The last person I wanted to see. "Meredith, what happened?" He asked, I ignored him and went to Webber who was in the ER. "Meredith, what happened to your face?" He asked. "Zola and I were in an accident. I'm good but Zola was pretty banged up at first. I think she hit her head. She needs a CT." I said to him, "You need a CT as well Meredith." He told me. "I just need my daughter to be fine, I'm not the one to worry about." I told him, he nodded. I went with him to a trauma room and Webber paged Alex since he was from peds. "Hey Mer." He said not looking at me. "Hey." I whispered. "What happened?" He asked. "We were in an accident. Someone crashed into us." I explained. "I think Zola hit her head." I added. "From what I can say, she's good but she's getting a CT. You need one too." He said in concern. "I don't need a CT." I said as I stood up and grabbed Zola. "Are you coming?" I asked him, he nodded and went with me to the CT. "Meredith, where are you going?" Derek asked. I knew it was him, I mean I know his voice obviously. "We're going to CT. You can come since you're a neurosurgeon." I said, not looking him in the eyes. He hurt me pretty badly and I know that I ruined his trial but he can't call me a bad mother.