What if

Chapter 10

Sorry Guys...

Derek woke up from the sound of knocking. The door opened and Amelia peeked through the door. "Ready?" Amelia asked, Derek sighed. "Let me wake her." Derek replied quietly, Amelia nodded. Derek leaned down and kissed Meredith's forehead gently. "Mer, wake up." He whispered, Meredith groaned. "I don't wanna wake up." Derek chuckled. "I know you don't want to but you have surgery." Derek whispered. "Will you be there with me?" Meredith asked, Derek sighed. "No, but Lexie will be in the OR with you. You're not alone." "You're not there?" Meredith asked quietly. "I'm sorry, I wish I could, but Lexie and my sister Amelia are taking good care of you. I promise." Derek whispered into her ear. "You'll be there when I wake up?" "I'll be there when you wake up." Derek assured her. "Okay." Derek slipped out of her bed and grabbed her hand. They wheeled her to the OR-floor. "I love you, see you later." Meredith whispered. "I love you too, see you." Derek replied and kissed her lips gently, she returned the kiss, after a few seconds they pulled away, Derek squeezed her hand one last time before she was wheeled into the OR. Derek exhaled deeply and then went to the attending lounge.

When he entered the lounge he saw Callie, Arizona, Bailey and Mark, Derek went over to the couch and sat down. "Derek you good?" Callie asked. "Ugh I don't know." Derek replied as he placed his elbows on his knees and then his head in his hands. "How's she today?" Arizona questioned. "Honestly I don't know, we didn't talk that much. I woke her up and told her that she has surgery now. She was scared or nervous. I don't know." "What do you mean?" Bailey asked curiously. "She would kill me if she finds out that I told you guys that." Derek chuckled a bit. "She asked me if I would be in that OR with her or if I would sit with her when she wakes up. I think her trust issues are coming back." Derek sighed as he rubbed his temples. Callie sat down next to him and rubbed his back gently. "I miss her. I know she's still Meredith, but I miss how she gushed about Zola, or how she bossed me around." Derek admitted and laughed sadly. "She's still there and I know that, but I have the feeling that I'm losing her again, with all the mistakes I made before the marriage." Derek shook his head. "I just think that I'm going to lose her," he whispered. Nobody in the room knew what to say, because it was true. "How are Adele and Richard doing?" Derek asked. Bailey just shook her head quietly and sighed. "Derek, what's the worst thing the trial could do?" Mark asked, Derek inhaled deeply while the other's gave Mark a look, who said that he shouldn't have asked that. "The worst thing that could happen is that it could progress faster. Which I don't hope since her Alzheimer's is progressing really quickly. Two days ago she could still remember that Lexie is her sister, that April is her friend or that I'm her husband. Yesterday she had to think, what kind of relationship Meredith and Lexie had, or me and her. Also she couldn't remember April anymore." Derek explained quietly, scared that if he would talk louder that he would break down. "It's that why you made her the book?" Arizona asked, Derek nodded as he looked up with a small smile. "What book?" Bailey asked, Derek took the book out of his pocket, she showed it to the others. He has it there because Meredith went to surgery. "It's beautiful Derek." Callie said in awe. "It's not ready, I still have to add some pictures." Derek explained, the others nodded.

Meanwhile in the OR

Amelia and Lexie both scrubbed in. "Is it okay if I show you the envelope and then sit with Meredith?" Lexie asked quietly. "It's just I love neurosurgery, I do but that's my sister and I know I shouldn't be operating if I can't cut my private life from my work life but-" "It's okay. I totally understand that. Once you opened the envelope and showed it to me you can sit down by Meredith and hold her hand. But if something happens in there you keep your mouth shut." Amelia cut her off. "Really?" Lexie asked, Amelia nodded. "I could hug you right now and of course." Lexie laughed. "Thank you Dr.Shepherd." She added and continued to scrub. Meredith was already under anesthesia while they were scrubbing in. After that they went into the OR. Lexie stood besides Amelia and opened the envelope. They both smiled at each other when they read that Meredith would become the drug. While Amelia inserted the drug Lexie sat down by Meredith's hand and held it tightly. As Amelia wanted to close Meredith's stats began to drop. Then a sound was heard, a sound nobody wants to hear. The sound of a person flatlining.