What if

Chapter 16

Time jump about a month

The last month was hard for everyone who knew Meredith. Especially for Derek, Meredith thought that he was still married to Addison. So the month was filled with yelling and fights. Today was the baseball game, Derek was excited for it since his hand was fully recovered but also concerned because of Meredith. She was getting worse. She has trouble remembering Cristina, Alex and even Derek. Meredith and Derek trained her legs a bit, so she can walk for a short time. Derek was in the bathroom as he heard noises out of the bedroom. Derek quickly left the bathroom and only saw that Meredith was standing but it looked like she was swaying. "Meredith?" Derek asks. Meredith turned around and tripped, Derek catched her right before she could hit the ground. "You good?" he asked her. "I'm fine." Meredith replied quietly as Derek sat her down on the bed. "You sure?" Derek asked gently, Meredith only nodded. Derek was about to help Meredith change when she pushed his hands away. "Don't, I can do it myself." Meredith said, Derek nodded and handed her the clothes. She put on her bra and Shirt, but had trouble putting on her pants. Derek watched the scene but didn't know if he should help her. Meredith looked him shortly into his eyes, that's when Derek knew that he could help her. As Derek put on her pants, Meredith looked away the whole time. "And you're ready Mer." Derek said as he closed the pants. Meredith gave him a small smile but couldn't look him in his eyes. "Do you want to brush your teeth?" he asked and Meredith nodded. Derek placed her in the wheelchair and went with her to the bathroom where he reached for her toothbrush. "Derek stop." Meredith snapped, Derek stopped his movements and frowned. "I just want to help you." He whispered. "Well you don't need to help me. I'm not a moron." She yelled. "Sorry." Derek whispered and gave her the toothbrush. "Yell if you need me." Derek whispered once again and kissed her forehead. "I love-." Derek cut himself off and went out of the bathroom. Only then he noticed the tears who were in his eyes ready to fall, he quickly blinked them away. He couldn't cry, he had to be strong for Zola and Meredith. He couldn't break down now. Heavily breathing he went to the kitchen, trying to calm himself down. Derek saw an old plate on the counter, he grabbed it and threw it against the wall. It felt good to let his anger out. Just as he wanted to grab another plate he heard his daughter crying. "Shit." he muttered. He quickly went up to Zolas room, trying to calm her down.

"Hey baby. Everything is okay." "Want Mommy." Zola cried. "Baby, I'm sorry. You can't have mommy at the moment." Derek whispered. Zola began to kick and slap him. "I want Mommy." She yelled while crying. "I know. I want Mommy too." Derek said quietly into Zolas ear, while rubbing her back. Soon Zola calmed down a bit, that was until Meredith yelled for Derek. Derek sat Zola on the ground and ran into their bedroom. "What's wrong?" Derek asked. "I wanna take a nap." She whispered, Derek nodded silently and helped her into the bed. "Do you want something to eat?" Derek asked as he pulled the covers over Meredith who shook her head in reply. "Mer, you need to eat." "I'm not hungry." She snapped. "Fine, then starve yourself to death." Derek snapped with a loud voice. He quickly left the room and went to the garden. As soon as Derek was in the garden he regretted what he said. "I just yelled at Meredith." Derek whispered to himself. Anger and disgust build up in him. How could he do that? Meredith did nothing wrong. "Oh God. How could I be this stupid?" Derek asks himself as he slid down at the wall from the house. Derek knew what he had to do. He has to control his anger. He has to do Sports. Maybe that's how he could control his anger then. It was good that the baseball game was today but Derek was still struggling because of Meredith. He didn't know if he should bring her with him or not. Derek decided to go back to the bedroom.

Meanwhile in the bedroom

Meredith was shocked. Derek seemed so nice and kind, she didn't know that he could have this much temper. After a minute the door opened and a little girl stepped in. "Mommy." Zola cried happily. Meredith frowned. "Who are you?" Meredith asked, Zola giggled. "Silly Mommy. I'm Zola." Zola told her. Meredith was now more than confused. 'I don't have a daughter, I would remember her.' Meredith thought. 'Do I have a daughter and forget about her? Am I like my mom? No she can't be.' Zola climbed onto the bed as Meredith began zooming out. "Mommy." Zola yelled, but Meredith didn't react. Zola jumped up and down on the bed. "Mommy, wake up." She yelled before the door opened again and Derek stepped in. "Zola, what are you doing here?" He asked as he went over to the bed and tried to grab Zola which pulled away. "I wanted Mommy." Zola tried to explain, Derek sighed. "I know Baby, but you can't just run in the room." Derek explained while a single tear was running down his cheek. "Meredith." Derek whispered as he sat down beside her on the bed. "C'mon Mer snap out of it. Please." Derek said in a firm and strong voice. Meredith kept staring into nothing. "Meredith c'mon please just please come back to me and Zola. I know you will not remember her but I need you to snap out of your gaze." "Daddy, what's wrong with Mommy?" Zola asked curiously. Derek inhaled deeply. Should he really explain Alzheimer's to his two year old daughter? Derek thought for a couple of minutes. "Mommy is sick, which is why she's just looking into nothing. She is trapped in her mind. But she's okay. Mommy's okay." Derek told his daughter. "Mommy okay?" Zola asked again. "Mommy is okay, Baby." Zola smiled and nodded. She climbed onto Derek's lab and cuddled herself into Derek's chest. "Love you Daddy." Zola whispered. "I love you too Baby." he replied. "C'mon Zo we have to make ourselves ready for the game." Derek whispered after 10 minutes of cuddling and watching Meredith who was still trapped in her mind. Zola smiled. "I'm going to see Sofia." Zola said happily, Derek smiled at his daughter as she quickly left Derek's lab and ran towards her room. Derek thought how he could bring Meredith back, so he did what he did last time. Derek gently cupped her face to kiss her lips, but this time he didn't hear a gasp or something that could tell him that Meredith was back. Derek sighed and went to Zolas room.