Black Veil Brides ~ one shots

Not this way - Ashley

Warning: self harm

I didn't mean to. I never meant to. Trust me I never ever meant to do it. But still I did. I did. I dragged the little piece of metal over my skin. It started four months ago, when my boyfriend Ashley went on tour with his band black veil brides. Yesterday I threw out the little box of blades I hid in my locker. So stupid I was. Like I thought I could just stop from one day to another. But I am. I am stupid. I've never met someone as stupid as me. I came home from work and slammed the door behind me. I dropped my jacket on the floor along with one of my shoes and went directly to the bathroom. I didn't bother to lock the door. There was no reason. Ashley would first be home in a week or so, and no one came to visit me. I took out one of Ashley's razors and placed it on the floor. With the shoe I was still wearing I stepped on the razor until it cracked. Angry and frustrated I threw the shoe out of the bathroom and slid down the door. With a shaking hand I reached out for the broken razor and took out the little evil thing. I put the razor in the bin and turned the little blade in my hand. Slowly I took of my pants and sat down on the toilet.  My thighs were covered with red lines, new and old.

Uncountable words flew across my mind. Stupid. Worthless. Useless. Whore. Bitch. Fat. Nasty. Idiot. Attention seeker. Slut. Unworthy. Ugly. Dump. Weird. Stupid...
One cut. Two cut. Three cut. Four. Oh whatever what's one more? Six cut. Seven cut. Eight cut. Nine. Yes I'm completely fine.
"(Y/N)!" Ashley yelled, as he ran into the bathroom and took the blade from me. A tear ran down my cheek. I didn't look at him. I didn't want to. I just stared at the blood running down my leg. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my sore leg. "Why would you do that?" he asked and lifted me up. I didn't say anything. I didn't say a word. Not when he sat me down on the bed and forced me to look at him. Tears starting streaming down my cheeks. "(Y/n) I've missed you so badly, would you please talk to me?" he begged, but I didn't say anything. He hugged me tightly, and right there I felt how much I missed him. "Sorry" I whispered and sopped into his chest. "No baby girl, I'm sorry, I should have known you were alone and hurt. I'm so sorry baby girl. But it's okay I'm home now" he whispered into my ear. He kissed my temple and pulled away to look me in the eyes. "Promise me to never do such things to yourself" he said, and I nodded. I started to relax, and he leaned in to kiss me. "I love you (y/n)" he said against my lips. "I love you too" I said and for the first time the last couple of moths I felt really happy.