Sweet Deception - Bokuaka

Reminisce and Dwell

"Keiji."

I felt a light shove on my shoulder. My eyes flitted open, and I squinted at the bright light that was hanging above me. I turned my head to the right and felt a searing pain through the right side of my neck. I rubbed my neck and slowly tried to turn my head farther.

Shit, I must have a neck cramp.

"Keiji, are you okay?"

I looked up a bit to see my father leaning over, his blue eyes filled with worry. I shuffled around and pressed my palms to the floor in order to stand up. My father's gaze remained on me.

I placed my hand on his shoulder and gave him a small smile. "Don't worry dad, I'm okay. I must've just fallen asleep here."

I eyed my father up and down. His black shirt was ruffled around the corner, his hair was poking up in every which way, and dried up rheum tainted the corners of his eyes. 

"It looks like you did too," I laughed a little, and my father's eyes widened.

He looked down at this clothes and faced me again. He smiled and said, "Yeah I was just finishing up some last minute work. How about we head home and shower and grab some breakfast?"

I bit my lip. My head ached, and as I thought of Bokuto's words from last night, bile rose up in my throat. I resisted the urge to gag at even the thought of food, but...my father rarely spent time with me since he was so busy. I gulped and pushed the feeling away. 

I smiled and responded, "Sure."

My dad beamed, and I felt somewhat relieved that my father was getting better since my mother's death. We headed to the car and entered inside.

"So, where did Bokuto go?" my father asked.

My stomach churned, and I tried to blink back my tears. I turned my head to stare out the window. 

"He went home," I softly said.

My father seemed to want to ask me something but just pursed his lips and nodded. I was grateful that he did. 

***

The steaming hot water trickled down my body, setting my skin on fire. But as the boiling water soon turned warm, my body relaxed. I picked up the white bottle and squirted a bit of shampoo into my hand. The smell of citrus and green tea filled the bathroom as I rubbed the shampoo onto my scalp. 

I rinsed my hair under the water and then stepped back, placing my face right under the shower head. I felt my knees give out as I sunk down, sitting on top of my thighs. My eyes stung as shampoo and salty tears mixed in them. 

I pulled my knees up to my chest and buried my head in my arms, which were wrapped around my legs. The steam rising in the room made it hard to breathe, but sobs and hiccups continued escaping from me.

"Why K-Koutarou...?"

My chest burned and throat ached as a guttural sob came out of my mouth. Tears spilled out of my eyes, and I coughed, unable to catch my breath. 

Knock

Knock 

"Keiji. Keiji, is everything okay in there?" a worried voice yelled from outside.

I suppressed my cough and quickly stood up to wash my face. I turned off the water and grabbed a towel. I wrapped it around my waist and slightly opened the door, peeking my head out to see my father. He was dressed in black jeans and a black shirt - his typical outfit - and his hair was slightly damp, forming wavy locks like mine.