Sweet Deception - Bokuaka

The Talk

"Keiji...we need to talk."

My heart thumped against my ribcage, and my already shallow breathing quickened. My palms grew sweaty as a nervous feeling settled in my stomach.

He's gonna leave me for that girl.

Of course he is. You weren't good enough for him.

I know I should've been better. It's all my fault.

My head throbbed as the inner voice echoed in my head, sending a pang of guilt through me. My chest ached, and it felt as if the walls were closing in on me, trapping me in my own mind. My racing heart wasn't helping, so I tried taking in deep breaths.

Inhale and exhale.

Inhale and exhale.

You're okay.

"Keiji, are you okay?"

My eyes zeroed in on Bokuto, and I saw his eyes filled with tears and worry. I focused on my breathing as I deeply inhaled and let out a shaky breath.

"Y-Yes I think so."

Bokuto wiped his palms on his pants, running his hands up and down his thighs a few times. He took a deep breath and exhaled. He placed his elbows on his thighs and placed his chin behind his interlocked fingers. His right leg steadily moved up and down, and I glanced down at his foot to see it bouncing rapidly. 

He's nervous.

I sucked up any anger that had consumed me and gently patted his back a couple times. He quickly turned his head to face me with his eyes wide in surprise. I pulled my hand back and placed it in my lap, and Bokuto quickly stood up.

"Keiji I-"

"Koutarou, do you not want to be with me anymore?" The question came out as a faint whisper as my trembling voice was on the edge of cracking, threatening to release a wave of emotion. 

My throat burned, and a guttural sob enveloped the atmosphere as I watched Bokuto shake his head. The air turned into razor blades as it filled my lungs. My heart pricked with a million needles as if I had fallen into a sea of cacti. Tears flowed down my cheeks and pooled up at the bottom of my chin, eventually dropping onto the brown rug on the floor.

"K-Keiji w-we can't," Bokuto whispered. His own glossy eyes had given in, and now his face was soaked with salty tears.

I clenched my fists and rushed over to Bokuto. "You're lying! You're lying!"

"I-I'm sorry, Keiji..."

"No stop it! Y-You're lying! Y-You're telling me that a-all the t-time we s-spent together w-wasn't r-real?!"

My words were slurred as pain and anger consumed me. My raspy throat ached as I yanked Bokuto's collar. 

"IS IT BECAUSE OF THAT GIRL AT THE CAFE?!"

"K-Keiji, s-stop it! Y-You're gonna hurt y-yourself!"

"Y-You already m-managed to d-do that y-yourself! T-Tell me the truth Koutarou!!"

"FINE I CAN'T BE WITH YOU BECAUSE I KEEP PUTTING YOU IN DANGER!" Bokuto screamed.

He pulled my fingers off his collar and backed away. A fresh batch of tears flowed down his already tear stricken face. 

"Y-You keep g-getting put in d-danger because of m-me!"

My chest heaved up and down as I attempted to catch my breath. I watched the male in front of me slump down and sob as he pulled his knees into his chest.

"Y-You don't d-deserve t-that..."

He then turned up to face me. His spiked hair was now greasy and hanging over his forehead. His bright golden eyes were dull and filled with pain as red blobs painted over his white scleras. 

"I-I didn't k-know y-you were at the c-cafe today. T-That g-girl was my f-friend, Kaori. S-She was h-helping m-me through t-this."

Bokuto sniffled, and a cold chill ran up my spine. Shame and humiliation swallowed me up.

You're so stupid Keiji. Why don't you think before asking?

You're an idiot.

I groped my hair and tugged it as I sank down to my knees. A searing pain shot through my head.

"Ahhh...stop I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

It's not enough to be sorry.

I felt tears stroll down my face again as the pain grew. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please don't hate me!"

"Hey, hey, hey...," a faded voice sounded from a distance. 

I felt a hand moving in a steady circle over and over again on my back, and I looked through my tears to see Bokuto's figure next to me.

"I-I'm sorry Koutarou! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please don't hate me!"

"Shhh...Keiji, it's okay. I don't hate you, okay?"

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."

I felt a hand grip my left bicep, and I was pulled into the larger male's embrace. I grasped his t-shirt with my left hand and buried my head into his chest.

"P-Please Koutarou...don't leave me. W-We c-can work it o-out. Y-You don't p-put me in d-danger. We can f-figure it o-out. Please Koutarou...p-please..."

"Shhhh," the soft voice cooed in my ear, and I felt my heartbeat slow down a little. 

I pulled away from the male's body and looked up at his half-lidded eyes. I could see dark circles under his eyes, and they looked heavy from a lack of sleep. 

"Koutarou please...," I pleaded again. 

Bokuto bit his lip and placed his hand on the back of my head. He pulled me in and rested my head on his chest again. I pressed my ear closer to his left pec and could hear his heartbeat gradually slowing down to a normal rate.

"I'm not gonna leave you Keiji..."

Relief flooded through me as soon as I registered those words. I felt a weight on top of my head and realized the Bokuto had placed his head on top of mine. I inched closer into his warm body.

I hope you're not lying Koutarou...

"Keiji, I'm sorry," Bokuto's shaky voice whispered. "Are you mad?"

I sighed. "No Koutarou, I'm not mad. But if you had talked to me earlier, we could've worked it out in a calmer manner."

I felt shuffling on the top of my head and assumed that he nodded. I reached up to the collar of Bokuto's t-shirt and fiddled with a loose string that was hanging.

"Koutarou, I'm always here for you, okay?"

"I know, Keiji." He softly kissed my hair and, I mentally smiled at the gesture.

"In our line of business, we're always in danger." I reached towards Bokuto's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "That's why I need you next to me, not away."

I felt Bokuto pull me closer to him, and I leaned into his touch. I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my chest since we had worked matters out.

"You mean so much to me...," I whispered.

"I love...you," the male breathed before dozing off into a deep sleep.

I felt my own eyes betray me as they fluttered shut. Exhaustion fell over me as I drifted off to sleep.

I love you too.

I'm sorry if this chapter didn't come out too good, I was kinda struggling.

Thank you for reading, and please consider voting if you liked it!

Also, this story is probably gonna be coming to an end pretty soon. I'm thinking about writing one more chapter, which would be the last one.

Stay tuned and stay safe! <3

Words: 1210