Delilah

43-Planning

Planning is so much more work than I had anticipated. 

It's not just the wedding stuff. 

Cole and I leave to go to his parents place next week. Then I have decided after that we are going to Texas, to the town I grew up in. 

I decided last week that I wanted to try and go back. I need to put my fears behind me, plus I want to be able to visit Cal as much as he visits me. 

Cole is going with me which takes some of the pressure off of my shoulders, knowing that he'll be there with me. 

Bailey offered to go too but I told her I would be ok. 

I think it'll be ok. I will make it through and then in four months I get to marry the love of my life. 

So far we have decided on a venue, that's about it. 

Cole came with me for that when we chose one. 

Today Jasmine and I are shopping for bridesmaid dresses. I wanted to pick those out before deciding on what my wedding dress will look like. 

I know the color of the dress I want for the bridesmaid dresses. I am leaning towards a light pastel color. Either baby pink or lavender. 

I know I want to make the bridesmaid dresses as well, but I am going specially to look at different designs and colors. 

Each bridesmaid dress will have a different design. I have four bridesmaids, Bailey(my maid of honor), Jasmine, Amber, and Georgie. 

I asked Georgie last week and she happily agreed, I also called Amber last week to ask her if she would and she agreed as well. Then I asked her to keep the wedding a secret until Cole and I come down there next week. 

Cole's best man is Kai. Which means Kai and Bailey will be making the best man and maid of honor speeches. Honestly that's terrifying, the two of them giving speeches. 

His groomsman are Kai, Spencer, River, and Josh his cousin. 

My phone buzzes and I see that Jasmine is ready to go. 

I pick her up at the dorms and we head down to the shop. 

"I am so excited, I love trying on dresses." Jasmine says from the passenger seat. 

We have been better since our talk at the coffee house. 

Once we are at the shop we start looking at different dresses. I find some beautiful dress and hang them up in the dressing room. 

I sit on the couch as Jasmine comes out showing me the first dress. I don't love the look but the color is beautiful. 

I take a picture of her and she goes back to try on a new dress. 

It's an ugly olive green but the design is pretty, I take a picture of that as well. 

We go through this process for about two hours until I find the perfect color and four different designs I love. 

After that Jasmine and I head out to lunch. 

We talk about once I get back from my trip going to look for wedding dresses. We talk about whether or not I should get a veil, still undecided. 

Getting back to the apartment I settle on the couch to sketch bridesmaid dresses. 

Cole comes home a few minutes into me deciding the look I am going for. 

"Hey beautiful." He says kissing my cheek. I smile, "Hey babe."

"I'm making dinner later, how do you feel about homemade pizza." I perk up at the mention of dinner. 

"Ooo what kind of toppings?" I ask starting the sketch. 

"Whatever you feel like. I am putting on bell peppers." He says and I hum, "Can you add jalapeños and pepperonis?" I ask and he agrees. 

Cole starts the dough since it'll have to rise as I continue to sketch. 

The first dress I am designing is Bailey's dress. 

I decide for it to have a straight neckline and spaghetti straps. There is a slit down the left side that stops mid thigh, the dress is floor length. 

I chose lavender for the color as well. I liked it better than the pink. 

As I finished the the base of the sketch I decide to take a nap. 

I wake up to my head on Cole's lap as something plays on the tv. 

"Hi." I say stretching my legs. Cole smiles down at me kissing me softly before saying, "The pizza is ready, wanna eat?" He asks and I nod before standing. 

We head into the kitchen to eat. The moment I take a bite I moan, "This is so good." I say taking another bite. 

Cole chuckles, "Don't inhale it shortcake." He says and I roll my eyes. 

"How you feel about going back home?" Cole asks and I shrug. He knows it's a sensitive topic.

"Well I am happy about seeing Cal and Bailey's dad. And I get to show you some of my favorite places there." I say trying to look on the bright side. 

My therapist told me to do that. I went and saw her once I decided I was going to go home. 

She told me to look at the positives of going back, instead of thinking about all the reasons I am scared to go back. 

"How do you feel about telling your family?" I ask him. He's talked to his dad since thanksgiving but Haley still has that weird thing against him. 

Hopefully when we go there I can convince her to turn a new leaf. 

"Well if Amber hasn't spilled they'll be shocked." He says taking another bite of his pizza. 

After dinner I help Cole clean up. Then we head upstairs. 

I lean against Cole as I continue my sketches. His arms are wrapped around me, his chin resting on my shoulder as he watches me. 

"Who's dress is that?" he asks as I shade in the dress. 

"This one is Ambers. I chose a sweetheart neckline and it's strapless. I hope she likes it." I say and he kisses my cheek. 

"She'll love it."

I lean even further into him as I continue my sketches.