The relapse stage of loneliness (for those who are unfortunate to go through it), is even worse than the early, lonely days. This is because you would have gotten acquainted with 'friends' and would have gotten used to the solace and even comfort that friendship provides.
Naturally, when you make the 'friends', you'd not feel among; you'll feel left out. But, as time goes on, you'll delude yourself into thinking that your 'friends' love you and you start letting down the walls you have painstakingly built. They would be so nice and, naturally, you'll relish the feeling.
The, in the twinkle of an eye, the bubble bursts. Either or both of two things are bound to happen:
1. You'll come out of your delusion. Insecurities will arise. You would stay away a little, expecting a show of love; expecting them to fawn over you, expecting them to show that they truly care and all, only to be shocked with aloofness and indifference on their part.
2. They'll decide on their own that they're tired and start dropping the signs subtly; them being unusually secretive, hanging out without you or worse, flat out ignoring you.
After either or both of the above happening, you'll end up in square one, but the pain and depression will be amplified. You'll be faced with the same loneliness that you tried so hard to run away from.
And, this time, it'll hold you tight, even more unwilling to let you go. As has been established, the relapse stage is the worst stage yet.
- O. F.
