tedious

𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍.

bury the past.
chapter seventeen -

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AFTER HER death- I never cared about the world anymore. Everyone is destined to die one way or another- no one can't escape from it, even how hard you try. That's why I stopped and fell tremendously into the ground, head low- lost for hope.

In my world, it was full of lights whenever I walk through the streets of Tokyo. I was just a kid back then, I never thought much of the future cause I'm sure that in one point in my life, it will come for me to make my abilities shine. But as time went by... my ambitions disappeared and before I knew it- I ended up staying inside a hospital bed.

The Doctor said that my lungs were damaged due to the fact that I became alcoholic and a smoker prior to my stay here. I apathetically laughed at it, life barely showed upon my eyes. My time to say goodbye for the world is approaching.

Did I once regret it? Of course, I had. I've never wanted this to happen, for me and for the both of us. I just wanted to enjoy my time together with someone once again.

A simple wish, was it too much to ask for?

Seventeenth of May, Two Thousand and Sixteenth- On that day forward, I never expected this to happen.

The azure skies that can be seen from the windowsill with birds chirping whilst passing by and a soft breeze that made its way- entering the hospital room. My hair blows out all over the place before it dies and rests down to my shoulders. Everyone below me were smiling- wondering would I even smile again?

Some part from inside of me doesn't want to give up- I want to bring those moments back but it is impossible. So, I blankly stare at the void, not caring about my surroundings.

"[name] Dear..." It felt familiar, her voice calling out to me. As if it was back to the years when it was bright for my eyes to go blind. My head perks up slightly, spinning it around to meet the wrinkled eyes of an elderly woman.

She lost her granddaughter, why is she still smiling after years passed by? I never understood the look on her face, nor did I bothered asking her about it. I was well aware, that I cling myself back to the past.

Her head slanted abit- the moment she stood right beside the hospital bed. I still wouldn't forget what happened next... and her words still lingers around my mind.

As if the grandmother failed to protect her only happiness towards the both of them- now with one who was left hospitalized. The other departed from this horrendous world. Her smile slowly fades into a frown after hearing the news of the woman infront of her.

"What happened to you, Dear?"

What happened to me? Neither do I know too. I lost someone important to me, I don't think I'll be alright any time sooner. I gave no response and my eyes blankly stares at her- she looks frightened.

I'm selfish- I really am. But being selfish is a good thing, right? I don't want to share my tainted world with someone who won't even understand me. I endured all the pain of being alone- I want someone to be with me again.

Elastic texture, it was cold- she wrapped it around my warm hands tht was placed ontop of my lap. I gazed at her actions, from her arms to her face- grandmother looks like she was about to cry.