tedious

𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍.

selfish desires.
chapter eighteen -

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WHAT DOES a young person have to go against the world? Do they even have enough power to do so? One hit and they'll fall down into darkness- that is unless they would not want that to happen.

Hanma stares at your back, hair that was flowing and footsteps that can be heard. Nor does he not know where the both of you were walking towards to. He just followed you from behind just like he does.

The road was oddly empty and quiet, it always has been. But it felt weird for the young man, it was starting to get uncomfortable. And you haven't taken a single look at him today- he knows you were ignoring taking a glance at his face.

Time was moving really slow today.

After walking for some few minutes, it looks like you've finally arrived to your destination. Hanma scanned the place all over, 'The cemetery?'

You came into a halt, the man behind you placed his eyes back on your figure that was now crouching infront of an tombstone with the family name of, Watanabe.

The both of you decided to stay quiet and a breeze gently made its way across two figures standing one to two steps away from each other. Hanma swallows, wondering what you would do next.

This is the only way to tell Hanma, right?

You gave a shallow sigh, trying to make your chest light and for you to breathe easily. Biting your lower lip, you finally spoke up.

"I..." The grip on your fist tightens, trying hard not to cry. Especially, in front of him. "I have this friend whom I always hang out with-" You titled your head to the side, a strand of a hair sways.

So, the one who they were both taking a visit- was it Eiko? Hanma has no words to talk, this was his first time to hear a side to your life. And listening to your quivering voice cracks his heart.

"You probably know about this from grandma Kotori- The old lady who came by." Gulping, you took a pause for a few seconds before continuing. And memories of the past only comes into your mind, "Eiko... was very much lively like me...."

Those days when you both would run in a empty street during daylight. Sun rays that hits every part of their bodies with a echoing laughter that can be heard to the other side. It was simply happy when you were younger. "We spend all of our time doing fun things... and when we get bored we would watch movies back in the apartment. Sometimes, I would play the guitar for her and she would sing for me..."

Doesn't it sound familiar? It definitely sounds familiar- everything you were saying, it feels like a recreation of your memories when you're with him. Racing thoughts that came into Hanma's mind. His feelings were conflicted and confused, even so- seeing your state, it aches.

"When Eiko... died... I lost myself," Clenching on your teeth hard. You started to smoke and drink during those years, getting into countless of fights with other people. And with a loss of hope, everything burst out. "My dreams... they were shattered cause I promised to do everything with her..."

I'll become your number one fan, [name]! Her words echoed by the time you told her one of your dreams to become. "But.... She isn't here anymore..."

"I was desperate to bring her back- I tried for months! I tried and tried and tried all over to know what's on her mind but whenever I do, she always ends up dying." You paused.

Your life became a mess, you stayed in your apartment room for a few months before deciding to go back to the place where you would stay. The place where comfort was with- and when you did you saw a him. His face looks the same as yours, it made you want to approach him.

"And Shuuji you came," A forced smile made its way up to your face. Brimming tears that were threatening to fall back down to the ground. Vision was already starting to get blurry, "Our days it reminded me so much of the past..."

"I'm scared that I might lose you too!"

A croaked voice and finally it fell nonstop. Trembling, you rubbed your arms looking for warmth that you were finding. You continued, "I don't know what to do... If you're not with me twelve years from now on... I don't want to be alone again..."

Hanma was clearly frozen in place- his second time of seeing you cry. He wasn't good at comforting people, it isn't his forte. He was a delinquent who beats other kids for god's sake. But staying im with you, he never noticed some changes.

Words that muttered and enough for the both of you to hear, "I don't want to go back there... It's scary- oh..."

The warmth that you were looking for engulfed you tightly. Eyes slightly widens, his familiar scent that lingers around your nose. Hanma was hugging you, he is hugging you. You forgot how it felt to receive one but Hanma was hugging you right now. It feels nice.

The young man tightens his grip around your figure. Letting your emotions flow all way back to the ground until you were drained and tired. You deserved so much better.

"I won't go anywhere." Is a promise he can make.