Healed//l.h a.u

chapter six

Blaze:

"Luke?"

The name that formed a tightness within my chest escaped the space between my lips without a jolt of pain. A variety of emotions circled my fastening pace heart, making every second without another word feel like an eternity. Confusion hovered my mind, an attempt of pressing my teeth on my bottom lip for a distraction failed as no noise surfaced through the receiver.

"I know this is going to come off insane, but my intentions are nothing but for our safety." Luke began, the exhaustion in his slurred voice evident. "I am outside your house, pacing around my car desperate for your cooperation."

"What do you need me for?" I asked, sitting up from my bed.

"I want to talk in person. I know you're probably thinking why I can't do this in the daylight but I'd rather have a conversation about our daunting past when cameras aren't abusing our vision." He explained and the loose strings created knots.

"That's a high expectation you've set for yourself." I mumbled, blinking a couple of times to strengthen my focus.

"If you ever did love me, even if it was for a split second, you'll come outside."

And with that, he ended the phone call.

That wasn't fair in any extent and he knew that, I know he did. It had been three years since our love story came to an end and even if a conclusion was never given out to him, it wasn’t fair that he held me against it. I could see why my face could have infuriated him but there was no way his heart was still in agony from our separation. He was Luke, the only person he truly loved was his reflection. There was curiosity in me though that had questions fire up my thoughts on how he truly was doing.  

My heart decided before the logical part of my brain did.

The moment my feet strode onto the shards of the grass, the soft wind’s whisper slid across the crook of my neck. The tiredness controlling my vision swept away when my eyesight diverted to the starry sky. The area seemed so peaceful and for a split second the apprehension that took over my body stopped, only to come back when I noticed where my steps brought me.

“You came.” Luke breathe, bewilderment clear in his expression.

My mind went blank as I processed the changes his presence took from when we last talked. His eyes still held this monotony but his bags were larger and now a pink shade from what I assumed an excessive amount of tears created. Blemishes scattered along the paleness of his face along with the scruff that ran down his jaw. Overall vulnerability masked itself over him.  

“Yeah.” I responded.  

“Where do you want to talk?” Luke asked me.

“There’s- ah -um a park.” I stopped to recollect myself. “There’s a park down the road.”

He nodded.

Our footsteps that imprinted onto the gravel road was the only sound we made while walking beside each other. The shaking of bushes drew his attention as we made a turn onto a paved street where only the street lights guided our steps. Reaching the sign that labeled the park’s name, our movements paused.

“It’s really quiet out here.” Luke noted, observing his surroundings.  

I agreed with a small shake of my head, my hands coming in contact with the cold metal gates that towered over us. A creaking sound fell from the opening of the gates having Luke stumble back. I fought the laughter that roamed my mouth and walked onto the park’s concrete floor, having him trail behind me. The first polished wooden bench my eyes spotted was the one we sat down on.

Luke exhaled heavily, rubbing his eyes before facing me. “You look a lot better.” He stated, but hesitation pulled down at his words. “I just really wish I could have made you like this, you know?”

“We weren’t healthy Luke, you have to understand that. I was suicidal and you had a drinking problem.”

A wince came from him before he spoke, “Those memories still haunt me. But now look at us; you’re happy and I’m an alcoholic and suicidal.”

His words made me choke on mine. “Luke,”

“Did you even think about me when you started your new life?” He questioned, focusing on the ground.

“Look at me,” I begged and he compiled. “I never meant to hurt you and even if you can’t see that, it’s true. And yes, I did think about you but moving on became easier when you didn’t hide your flings from the media.”

“But they don’t know me like you do Blaze and that’s the problem!” Luke exasperated. “I look at them and think how I am never going to find a girl who I loved just as much as I loved you. I loved you for better and for worst, I took care of you, I did everything in my will to prove my love and you left. Poof, you were fucking gone. So don’t you get why I’m hurt?”

There was a pause in our conversation, permitting the words he said to etch into my heart and mind. Things happened for a reason and that will always be a constant reminder that I need in my life to move forward. But observing the amount of pain he is going through and how our past is still present in his heart crumbles a part of the wall I built between us just so I could protect myself.

“I’m not going to yell at you if that’s what’s concerning you.” Tears swelled up his eyes even more as he looked at me. “My voice hurts too much to yell.”

My attention flickered to my trembling hands and then back to his eyes. “Everything happened so fast. And I’m not just talking about three years ago but now. We just saw each other last week and now we’re at a park talking. How insane.”

“Since when did we ever go slow?” He laughed and so did I.

Luke sniffled. “I missed your laugh.”

And I missed his.

“How’d you even get my number let alone my address?” I questioned.

“Yellow pages and I might have threatened Calum.”

“Of course you did Luke.” I scoffed lightly, the ends of my lips morphing into a smile.

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so things might be confusing rn & u might confused on why Blaze didn't bring up the attack and what Ashton told her but don't worry the answers will come

I hope you all liked this chapter xxx 

goal: 

15  comments, 200 reads & 30 votes

q.o.t.d

fave song at the moment 

fix a heart acoustic ((demi lovato))