Healed//l.h a.u

chapter nineteen

Luke;

//lmao barely edited//

"Kiss me."

The two words that were so simple made my chest constricted and eyes broaden at the sound. I turned my head, watching as her eyes were closed, lips parted and russet curls fell across her face. A mix of diverse emotions knotted around my heart and riled my thoughts. She appeared to be in a tranquil state, the demand she voiced not effecting her at all.

All the analyzing of the situation brought me away from the reality that Blaze wanted me to kiss her. I blinked, breathing in deeply as I moved my weight on one side. Her eyes opened, the shade of them darker as they moved along my pale features.

I leaned closer to her, our foreheads pressed together as she raised her chin. Our lips connected, her teeth pulling on my bottom lip. Hers tasted faintly like sugar as I pulled away, my cheeks warm by her touch.

I laid back down beside Blaze, our breathing deepened as we both brought it back to its usual pattern. She smiled, her face shined as she looked above us. I couldn't bring my gaze away from her. This girl in front of me was someone I was not used too. This Blaze smiled without forcing it. The happiness that trailed with her was something she created herself; no drugs, no alcohol, just by her.

The silence broke as she talked. "You tasted like cigarettes."

I didn't respond as I wondered if it bothered her.

"You smoke?" Blaze asked, moving slightly as she looked at me.

"Yeah." I exhaled. "Yeah I do."

"One time when I was sixteen, I was outside of school smoking and this complete asshole was just standing next to me complaining about something fucked up he did. Then he took my cigarette- from my mouth may I add- and stepped on it. "

Blaze's eyes ignited with humor as the most memorizing laugh came from her. Confused at first the memory came back to me and I rolled my eyes. She cupped her mouth, muffling the sound as she squinted.

"I really did do that, huh." I huffed, shrugging my shoulders.

"Remember that time I found out you were friends with the boys and Rain?" I asked.

"It was the time you and Calum fought at lunch, yeah I remember. Rain called it the Hemmo introduction."

I was brought back to the time, the scene drawing itself. The remembrance of my destructive behaviors caused my stomach to churn. The action caused my body to fill with guilt and I looked at a blank part of the violet walls so Blaze wouldn't notice. Though she did, as she brought herself closer to me. Resting her head on my chest, she grazed her finger along the structure of my jaw.

"Don't do that to yourself, it was the past, Luke."

It was noticeable that the roles were changing between us. The voice that used to scream at me, slurring in agony now whispered to me so calmly to reassure me I wasn't such an asshole. It was comforting yet alarming to know that I was the one with the life that was a puzzle missing its important pieces. And I knew in this moment that the undeniable connection her and I had was a piece so close to me but hard to put back in place.

"Do you believe that true love finds its way?" I questioned, propping my chin on her scalp.

"I didn't-" she paused. "I didn't until the jerk who stepped on my cigarette came into my shop a few months ago." 

I grinned as Blaze asked the same question.

"Look at it this way. Three years ago, you probably sat on that floor and I probably was coming through that window. You would sob into my shoulder as your demons inside of you spoke of your lethal wishes.  I would even tell you the world wasn't fucked and that you were the girl of my dreams. But then the two of us parted, with no commutation for years. And now here we are, three years later in the same bed asking each other if true love really finds it way."

Blaze sat up, sharing no words as she brought her knees to her chest. The fabric of her gray shirt lifted up, exposing her lace underwear. I didn't pay attention to the clothing as my eyes focused on the unsure expression she carried. A profound sigh escaped her frown as her eyes settled on me.

"I'm sorry." Blaze apologized. "This whole thing is so stressful, you know?"

"You mean with the leakage of our pasts?" I inquired.

"Yeah and us." Shamed tied within her voice.

"I'm sorry I-"

"Not its okay." I shook my head, pulling at my lip.  "My lifestyle isn't the easiest, I know."

Her hands raked through her hair, stress clear on her facial expression. "Sometimes, I wish we were kids again."

When she said that, it was clear she regretted it. My eyes widened, she opened her mouth but no words left because we both knew what she said was her truth. I felt my chest tighten, a frown engraved itself onto my face as we both stared at one another.

"You would go through all that pain for a fucking relationship?" I asked, my voice wavering between anger and sadness.

"No-I- I don't know Luke! Back then people knew I was a slut but didn't make exposing accounts about it! Or send death threats!"

My throat felt dry. "What? Who is doing that? Blaze why didn't you tell me that!"

"Because Luke these are your fans-"

"Fuck that, Blaze its sad to admit this but you know you're my main concern!" I claimed, raising my arms.

"Oh will you stop that!" she groaned. "These are the people who make you rich and allow you to live your god damn dreams, Luke!

"And you're the one who makes me happy, isn't that more important!"

"Luke, please can we not fight. Please, for once I want to be in this room without the two of us arguing." Blaze pleaded.

I lifted myself from the bed, sitting next to her. I didn't want to fight with her either and even though inside me I wanted to keep telling her how important she actually was to me; I didn't. Slowly, she allowed her head to use my shoulder for support. It was finally after a few minutes of listening to the traffic outside I decided to talk about something positive; our good memoires.

"Remember that one time your dad heard us having sex but you insisted it was Rider jacking off and he actually believed it?" I chuckled and so did she.

"Why do you remember that?"

"I don't know."

"Remember when you were my girlfriend?" I asked.

"Yeah..." she said, unsure of where I was going with this.

"Want to stop remembering and start doing it again?"

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SmOOOOOOTTHHHHH HEMMINGS

and im sorry this chapter rly fucking suck and idk idk im sorry for letting you guys down with it