Where it all began [Larry Stylinston]

Chapter 17

[Louis]

4 am, the sun is starting to change the colour of the sky and I can't seem to fall asleep. My mind is racing, I've tried to go to sleep but I can't stop thinking about anything and everything. 

I usually text Liam but he's probably sleeping, plus I don't want to disturb him, but it's worth a shot maybe he will answer. I pick up my phone and text him. 

Hey, are you awake? I wait a couple of minutes for a response but I don't get one, I guess he is asleep. I don't want to bother Harry, he has a football match to play today. But I need someone to talk to. 

I mean he's not even going to be awake so I'll text him just to make myself feel better. 

Hey, are you awake? I wait for a response and after a few minutes, I receive a notification. 

Hey love, I'm awake. Are you okay? 

Yeah, I'm okay I just need someone to talk to, but you should get some rest because you have a footie match today I feel bad now, I probably woke him up, I'm a bad boyfriend. Why did I text him, I didn't need to I could've dealt with this by myself. 

Do you need me to come over? 

No it's okay, you should go to bed 

Baby talk to me 

It's okay, I'm fine just forget it, you don't need to worry about it 

I'm coming over 

No, you need to get some sleep before your match 

You don't have a choice 

No, you don't have to come over I'm fine I promise, just to sleep you have a footie game I don't get a response after that. 

Fuck, he's not supposed to come here. What was I thinking, I'm so fucking stupid. 

I get up from my bed and walk around in circles around my room, I'm such a fuck up. 

I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this. My breaths start to quicken, why did I text him I didn't need to, now he is coming over for no reason. 

My arm starts to itch for me to cut it, I try to convince myself not to do it but I give in quickly I grab a pocket knife from my desk and roll up my sleeve. 

One two three four five 

Five cuts on my arm and my breathing slows down. I walk to the bathroom and rinse my arm then pull down my sleeve. I lean against the wall and slide down until my knees are against my chest, I cross my arms over the top of my knees and place my head on them. 

Why did I do that, I'm so fucking stupid, I can feel my eyes start to burn. Why am I like this, it's so pathetic, I'm pathetic, a fuck up. I don't want to do this anymore, I'm just so tired. Tears start to run down my cheeks and onto my sleeves. 

I hear a knock at the front door but I don't leave the bathroom I know it's Harry and I know he will walk in since he knows where the spare key is held outside. 

As I suspected after a few minutes I hear my bedroom door open. 

"Lou are you okay?" I don't respond I just hold my breath and shut my eyes as the tears come out of them "Louis" I can hear the panic in his voice. Harry walks into my room and looks around until he sees me in the bathroom. "Lou" Harry runs into the bathroom and neals down in front of me. "Baby, are you okay" 

"Yeah I'm fine, you didn't need to come" My voice is weak. I'm so tired

"If you say you promise that you're okay then you're not okay"