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TITLE
Simply marvellous! The fact that it is just a random colour and a random sense organ brought together is a spiffing idea. It's got a very nice aesthetic too and definitely gives out the fantasy vibes.
BLURB
As much as the blurb is fancy, it seems a little bit off. Blurbs are basically what is written on the back of the book. Remember to keep it short and attractive. ♥
Here's my version of it:
After being set loose to the outer world, Talia has to team up with a set of individuals to liberate green-eyed humans like her and seek justice for the inhumane treatment inflicted on them from an aggressive, callous and powerful mortal's grip.
Discoveries are found. Mysteries are unravelled. Vengeance is thirsted and slightly needed. Most of all, a suspect is detected.
The invitation to affliction is now in her hands.
Does she end up being a threat to the devouring world?
This is just my version of a blurb, you are free to choose whatever way you wish to write your own book. ♥ Just remember to keep short, simple and sweet.
COVER
I really love the green eyeballs of the cover. They are attractive and they look dangerous too. However, it would be nice to put your username at the bottom of the book. Let them know that it is your book.
PLOT AND GRAMMAR
Mysterious person? Green eyes? Secrets behind truths? It's fabulous!
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I have to say, reading your story was delightful! I barely found any errors at all. The descriptions were strung with beautiful words. It didn't feel like information was being dumped. It had the right limit of words in it.
The story is written at a wonderful pace too. It doesn't feel like it's rushed, nor does it feel like it's slow. It's hit on with the right acceleration.
However, one can always improve!
1. Punctuations: I felt like there were areas where commas were unnecessary.
Example: Indefinite accordance with mother, evil, heartless souls lurked around the earthly zone...
Since the heartless souls are being described as evil, it would be better if the two words were connected by a hyphen rather than a comma.
2. I have noticed areas where the emphasis was put on sentences that began with the word 'how.' In such sentences, end it with the exclamation mark.
Example: How I had longed to feel its heartfelt beauty! Taste it! Smell it! Cuddle the wind in my arms!..
3.Dialogue tags: Usually a dialogue ends with a comma when words like said, told, replied, etc are attached to the sentence. Otherwise, a full stop would suffice.
Example: "Look what you have done." The hot words...
4. There was just this one tiny thing at the end of chapter 2. Just remember that TV should be in caps. ♥
5. You have very beautiful and elegant descriptions in your story. In such cases, it's best to use the full form of words.
Example: I never had interest in those types of things cuz they've not once built interest in me.
Remember to add the article 'an' before interest and it's better if 'cuz' is changed into 'because'.
Again, this is just my opinion. You are free to write in whatever way you wish. ♥
OVERALL
It was quite a wonderful read. I love how you keep your characters mysterious and the suspense is unfolding really well. You have a fantastic way with cliffhangers too!
I apologize if this review is not to your liking, it's just my opinion.
I wish you good luck with your book, lassie_butter ♥
