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TITLE
The title is definitely quite suitable for the story. Since the whole story revolves around our mysterious Angel, I think it goes quite well with the story. Also, it gives out both fantasy and Teen Fiction vibes, so there's a high chance for readers in that genre to be lured in.
BLURB
Short and sweet! It had just the right amount of information and gave out no spoilers. So, good job on that!
COVER
The cover is so beautiful. I really like the calligraphy on the title. The author's name and the username are different, but it's still cool to use a pen name on the book. The aesthetic of the cover matches the title as well.
PLOT AND GRAMMAR
Damn dear author, what is Angel doing in the LunaCrest Girl's academy? XD And I am definitely a big fan of the maid right now.
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The opening of the first chapter was quite a brilliant one. Not many people start off their stories with a letter, so that was pretty awesome!
There was quite a shift in the scenes a few times that felt rushed.
Descriptions are important in a story. What did the headmistress look like? How did the buildings look?
You did a great job in showing how the MC looks when Angel questioned her height. Now that is an excellent example of 'showing, not telling.'
But how did Angel look like when she first saw her? How did the appearance change when she saw a him instead of a her?
Magnolia is definitely an awesome character in the story. How does she walk? Does she move like a robot? Walk with her back straight all the time? Tilts her head eerily to the side when she's talking?
Now these are just some general descriptions that I think might add a lot more life to the story, or maybe, if written humorously, will definitely gain a smile on the reader.
OVERALL
I am so glad that I was able to come across this book. I almost spit on my saliva when Magnolia asks her if she's been on crack xD. Now that was so damn hilarious LMFAOO. Also, the length of each chapter is quite a wonderful one. It's not too long, nor too short. It's got the right word limit.
