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TITLE
I love how the title matches so perfectly with the main character considering that she has Tourette's syndrome. A 10/10 for that!
BLURB
It provides a very neat trailer as to what the reader is going to experience while reading the book. However, there are a few errors that can just be easily edited.
The second sentence can be along the lines of, 'after getting bitten by a spider.'
The last few sentences would make it look more demanding and more exciting if they ended with question marks instead of commas.
Example: Will she learn that with great power comes great responsibility? Will she learn to right her wrongs? Will she try to be more like the guy from the comic book even with all the differences?
The last line was terrific. It quite literally is my favourite sentence in the blurb.
COVER
I love how you have such a charming face for the cover. Maybe adding a title in a neat calligraphic style with spider webs on it and the name of the author on it might give it a more non-virtual feel to the book but that is completely up to the author.
PLOT
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Firstly, I have to appreciate the style with which the book is written. Even though it's easier writing a story in the first POV, writing it with the expression of Tourette syndrome is incredibly hard and I love how you were able to express the story with ease.
There are still areas of improvement that can be edited as you keep writing.
1. A lot of your sentences begin with I.
Example: I put on some music for real this time and skate my way to the house. I get there in ten minutes tops and park myself under a tree. I take off my skating things and place.. I then head over to a much taller reaching all the way to my room window and passing it.
What it could have been: Putting on some music for real this time, I skate my way to the house. It took me ten minutes and I take off my skating things to park myself under a tree. Then, I head over to a much taller tree...
2. Occasionally there are a few commas missing in the dialogues.
Example: "I can't believe you spent the whole day here." Luka said to me.
What it could have been: "I can't believe you spent the whole day here!" he mentioned.
"You made a promise." He replied.
What it could have been: "You made a promise," he replied.
A simple to remember is when words such as said, say, tell, told, replied etc. are used, a comma is used before the double apostrophes.
A full stop is used in dialogue only when an action is performed.
OVERALL
This was actually the first Spiderman fanfiction I ever read. I am glad that it is about a spider girl with Tourette's syndrome even though it was really unexpected. You did an amazing job by portraying how hard it can be to even perform daily activities and have episodes during the day so that's awesome!
Good luck with your future projects! AmiraPSalawe ♥
