Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
TITLE
It's a unique title. Considering that the characters in the story fit into the names of Snow and Ice, I think it's perfect!
BLURB
The blurb was perfect! It was short and sweet and contains everything important for the story with no spoilers. But I think it's missing a few punctuations in this line. Alaska Willows is a figure skater, popularly known as Goddess of Ice. Her mother's death is unknown to everyone. The rest of the blurb is fine.
COVER
The cover is beautiful! I love the different fonts that are used in the title. The words including the author's name too are clearly written. The shoe in the picture is a perfect symbol for the story!
PLOT AND GRAMMAR
An ice queen? A lost childhood friend? Ice God? Evil characters? Bring it on!
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
The plot is amazing. I find the main character a little bit too evil and Zane is a little bit saner and calm.
However, I did find a few things that can be improved.
1.In the first chapter, the words written on the board of the Boston university must be in a separate paragraph. It would also be better if the letters were in bold. In this way, it can make the chapter look more organized instead of being a little messy. ♥
2. As you are writing in the first POV, it's natural that your character has internal thoughts about herself and her surroundings. Her thoughts would be best written in italics.
Example: Who is this Matthew that made this girl angry? May he rest in peace. Wow. Brilliant! I have already been identified... Sentences like this can be written in italics.
3. There was a part when Matthew called her the Goddess Of Ice. How did he know it? What made her different from other skaters? Considering that it was her first day, she seemed excited about everything just like everyone else. That part needs a little clarification. I think the story of how she became the goddess of Ice needs to be written ♥
4. I found a few typos in the sentences written, maybe a re-read would clear all of them! Example: You sure now how to lift a girl off her feet and heads over heels. The now should be written as know. Heads must be written in the singular. Tow against one? The word Tow must be written as two. Typo errors are a nightmare. They can be removed if you read your drafts aloud before publishing ♥
5. Usually while you are writing in the first person POV, it is quite natural to use the 'I' pronoun all the time.
Example: I turn to leave, not wanting to bicker anymore with him. I need to go back to the dorm, change my clothes and go to the rink for reporting. I look at the time and gasp! I only have ten minutes.
As you can see, all these sentences begin with the pronoun 'I'
Try altering it: To avoid bickering with him any longer, I turn to leave. Rushing to the dorm, changing my clothes, and going to the rink for reporting seemed to be too late when I look at my watch.
All this within ten minutes?
6. Capitalization to show that the character is screaming with either shock or anger isn't necessary. Use words to show it.
Example: "DO I LOOK BLIND TO YOU? I HAVE EYES NOT POTATOES!!! YOU! I say pointing to Ash.....
This can be written in simple letters and show action instead. 'I screamed at him before pointing towards Ash again'. Exclamation marks work well with it.
OVERALL
I say this is a pretty interesting book with a good plot. The main character is quite strong and a little too evil. I wonder how Zayne and her will get along. I see Leo has found a partner too. The humor was quite well in the fifth chapter when she thinks Ash is suffering from girlotitus, I think that was hilarious. xD
I apologize if this review comes off rude, I just want you to improve in your writing.
Also, for anyone wandering here and wanting a book that's filled with romance and humor, I suggest this one!
