Changing Oneself (Entangled side story)

9, To Care

I couldn't believe that these two vampires actually wanted something genuine out of me, for their benefit as well as my own. I thought they had simply accepted a gift from another clan and left it at that, that they had dealt with my rebellion simply to get me to shut up and do what every other pet does. I thought them wanting me to change was simply just so that they could have peace of mind that they weren't sending a monster out into the world once they decided to discard me. 

But, apparently, they wanted something more. Maybe the idea came to them when they discovered that Vanilla and his Masters were more tight-knit than other Master-pet relationships out there. Maybe they wanted that for themselves, too. For them to care about me, and for me to care about them. 

How could I do that, though? They were the ones holding me captive, I was technically their prisoner. How did they expect me to grow to care for them? It was so hard to believe that this all wasn't just for their benefit.

I was contemplating this as I sat on a cushion out on the balcony. Ieli was reading inside, in a chair by the fireplace. Yenthyr had finished working for the time being and was making himself some alcoholic beverage at the small bar they had. I had no chores today, and it was past midnight lunch, so I had nothing to do.

I listened to crickets and the sound of Yenthyr finishing his drink. A moment later, the vampire approached me. He crouched down to my level, a gesture that caught my attention and reminded me of the brief moments of kindness both him and Ieli had given me. Maybe they just don't know how to care about a pet. Maybe that's why they can be nice at one moment and so heartless another.

"I apologize for not stopping when you asked me to, during your reward," he began. My eyebrows shot up in surprise and I looked at him. His eyes seemed calm and tired. Maybe that was what sadness or regret looked like in vampires. "Ieli told me you hadn't cum that night, and that you were upset that we didn't stop when you asked us to. It was meant to be a good session for you, not a bad one. So, I would like to redo that reward for you."

I furrowed my brows and swallowed as I felt bile rise in my throat. I turned my face away. "No thank you, Master," I mumbled. "I don't want it."

"Only because you don't know what I can do for you," he responded. "I will take your comfort into consideration this time. I won't be focused on myself. I'll be focused on you, like I should have been that night."

It's so hard to believe. So hard to believe.

"I don't trust you," I stated bluntly. It was better to lay that out now, than to expect them to figure it out.

"I know," he replied, gently. "I'd like to show you that you can."

I hated that they were so persistent about everything. I tucked my knees up and wrapped my arms around my legs, and hid my face between them. "Why does this matter so much to you?" I asked him. "I'm just a pet. Every other vampire would've just grabbed me by the scruff and bent me over and fucked me without even giving me a heads up."

"That is true. But do you not remember how I said that Ieli and I would like to establish a relationship that's a little better than that?" he answered. "Less... unfeeling."

"But why?" I asked, persisting in turn.

"You already know the answer to that," he said. Wouldn't you like to have more people in the world care about you? 

"Come," he ordered, although his voice was softer now. "Let me properly apologize, and properly reward you."

The small part of me nudged me to accept. The larger part of me wanted me to snarl at him to go away and leave me alone. Vanilla's voice whispered, "listen to that quieter voice. That one knows the truth."