Changing Oneself (Entangled side story)

27, Goodbyes and Hellos

The next night, Vanilla, Storm, and his vampires all left to return to their home. The memory of that place, the city and my old pack, almost made it too painful to be there to watch them leave. I wanted to at least be there when Vanilla left, but my fear of being spotted by his vampires made it hard, too. Yenthyr, Ieli, and Sang said they would tell him goodbye for me, but once they started heading to the front gate to see their guests off, I felt a bolt of panic telling me I wouldn't have a chance like this again. 

So, pushing down my conflicting emotions, I followed them downstairs. I kept hidden behind walls and corners as they all gradually made their way from the main foyer, to the front doors, to the front gate, where a limo was waiting to drive them to the canal, where they'd ride a boat back to their home. 

Although my legs wouldn't stop trembling at the sight of Vanilla's vampires, none of them seemed to actively seek me out or bother to acknowledge my existence. At the front gate, while a couple servants helped the two werewolves set their bags into the trunk of the limo, I hid behind the hedge just next to the gate. Everyone else stood in a loose circle, shaking hands and exchanging pleasantries and words of gratitude. 

As they did so, once Vanilla and Storm were done with their bags, the two casually joined the loose circle. I watched as everyone continued talking, but Vanilla and Storm didn't really say much unless someone specifically addressed them. 

And, as if a silent cue had been announced, they began to disperse. The vampires were first to pile into the limo. Vanilla seemed to know exactly where I was hiding, because he looked over at me and caught my eye, even despite the fact that I was keeping as little of me visible as possible. Maybe my location was given away by Sang's position only a few feet away from me.

As our gazes met, a flash of aching pain hit my chest. Of regret, of apology, of a yearning to keep making things right. I wondered if Vanilla could see that, or feel that, and I hoped he could. I still struggled so much with talking to him.

He smiled. It was one of his more sad smiles, though, one of understanding. Empathy, I think. He seemed to know my thoughts so clearly, because his visage reflected just enough reassurance to calm the ache. I realized, then, that this would be the last time I'd smell his strong sweet scent. 

Since his vampires were distracted and mostly out of view, I thought it safe to step out from behind the hedge, just a little. Storm waited by the back limo door, holding it open and waiting, his gaze and posture calm and patient. I realized I didn't feel such bone-deep fear around him anymore. A simmering bit of anxiety, nervousness, but not fear.

For a moment, both Vanilla and I seemed at a loss for words. I think we both wanted to say something, though, we just didn't know what. After a long moment, when it became apparent we wouldn't say anything, he settled for raising his hand in a small wave. A soft goodbye.

I lifted a hand in a small wave, too. A soft goodbye. Then he turned and headed to the limo. He had just begun to climb inside when he paused, and looked over his shoulder at me. 

"I wish you well in life," he said. A small tremor shook my body, barely there, and I fidgeted with my hands a little. "Same to you," I whispered. He smiled again, and I managed a small and unstable one in return, and then he was climbing into the car, his mate close behind, and the doors closed. The engine revved to life, and my vampires stepped back and watched with me and Sang as the limo slowly pulled out of their circle driveway, and down the path leading to town.

We stood in silence, watching as the car grew smaller the further out it drove. When we couldn't see it anymore, Ieli released a sigh. "That's it, then?" he asked, to no one in particular. Yenthyr nodded solemnly, "That's it."