Changing Oneself (Entangled side story)

13, Heartbreak

We walked the stone paths together, quiet, but I didn't mind. I was feeling strange. I was already missing the trees, and already dreading the walls of the castle, and the closer we got, the more dread I felt. But I was also feeling good, and... oddly... connected, to the vampires. Not completely, but better than when I first got here. Maybe it was just because they were the only ones here, while I struggled with wanting comfort.

Along the way, Ieli asked me a question. "So, how did you like being in the middle?"

I blushed a little, avoiding both of their gazes. "I... I liked it," I said honestly.

"That's good! Now I don't have to be," he replied, grasping my arm and using it to pull me closer as he planted a kiss on my cheek.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"To be honest, I'm more of a full bottom, you know? Doing the fucking isn't really what gets me going. I tried it out when we claimed you your first night here, but it didn't really do it for me. So, I can be the full bottom, you can be the switch, and Yenthyr gets to be the full top," he explained. "See, you can be a Beta in our group after all."

"Don't," I growled, stopping in my tracks. Ieli looked at me with uncertainty and confusion. I glared at him. "Don't turn this into some hierarchy, where Yenthyr's the Alpha, I'm the Beta, and you're the Omega. I don't-" I cut myself off and pressed the heel of my palms to my temples, scrunching my eyes shut. "I don't want anything to do with that dynamic anymore."

"Alright," Ieli said, tone less playful now and more sympathetic. He glanced at Yenthyr, who was watching me to make sure I wouldn't have an angry outburst. Ieli approached me and held my face in his hands. "You're not a Beta, then. You're just ours," he whispered, and kissed me on the nose.

I sighed and lowered my hands, feeling the anger dissipate and become replaced with dread again. "Come, let's head to bed," Yenthyr said.

"Actually," I began, "can I stay out here for a little longer?"

The two vampires looked at each other. Ieli shrugged to his partner. Yenthyr looked at me. "I suppose that's fine. But stay in the garden."

I exhaled in relief. "Thank you, Master," I said. They both came up and kissed me on the cheeks, and then the two of them headed inside. I watched as they walked away, side by side, Ieli grasping Yenthyr's hand and swinging it between them, the way he had with me.

I guess, maybe... it could be possible for all of us to grow to care for each other. A big maybe, but a maybe nonetheless.

After they disappeared inside, I heaved a deep breath. Outside, alone, with the sun slowly creeping up the horizon. I hadn't seen the sun in ages.

I looked over my shoulder at the far hedge, at the trees that loomed above and behind it. I thought about venturing back to that spot Yenthyr had opened up that magic door, but I figured it wouldn't be there anymore. There was probably magic imbued into every inch of the hedge, ensuring no servants abandoned their contract and left, or any pets snuck out and escaped. The little doorway was probably just Yenthyr prying back a weak spot in the wall, and it would be thoroughly solid without his touch.

I wondered, if I talked to him, if he'd let me out past the shrub walls again. He might, if I could show them that I was capable of not getting into trouble in their garden.

My safest bet was wandering around again, like earlier, casual ambling. No prying into anything that piqued my curiosity, avoiding anyone I might spot, and not focusing on anything that made me angry.

I did just that. I began strolling, taking my time, relishing in the slowly growing warmth that the rising sun brought. Soon, the dark garden was illuminated, and I was able to appreciate it in a different light.