BTS SUGA Oneshots 《COMPILATION》✓

monologue: divorce anniversary

"Mam, you've received a letter."
"Thank you, Mrs. Shin."

The rough surface of the envelope come in contact with my fingertips and the smell of nervous fill my chest.

"I'll write you a letter, one day." his hoarse voice echoing in my mind.

Flip the envelope to the other side, my fingers trembles at the handwriting. It's his.

"For my love."

Without wasting any moment, my trembling fingers do its works to tear up the envelope and take out the letter. It's really from him. I can even smell his scent.

My first teardrop falls on the paper as soon as I started reading.

'Hey, love. Happy divorce anniversary.

I'm sorry. I have made you cry again. Just like that day, three years ago when I witnessed tears falling from your beautiful eyes. We're breaking up again. Your beautiful face is slowly getting further away. At that moment, I'm thinking it's for the best. This frustrating love is now over. Even if I vowed to never think about you again. Why am I looking at your picture today?

I said I'll be okay, that I will never fall in love again. Even if I vowed to be okay living without you, why am I thinking about only you today?

Why? Back then, when you were trying to fit in with me. When you couldn’t look forward to yourself, when you were in so much pain because of my selfishness, why didn't I know? I wish I knew.

Your expressions and your beautiful smile that made me smile at times. Your mistakes and your voice, to me, they're so vivid.
Your grumbling and your bad habits that made me cry at times. Your rude tone and my past mistakes. I can now understand them.

I remember it all, your tears and your deep sigh when you began to let me go. If you can come to me, I know you would never let go again. So tell me, where are you now? If I told you, I've become better, would you come back to me?

You know where to find me.

Always, yours.'

Inhales deeply, I took a deep breath before letting myself in a sobbing mess. Every memory of me and him, Min Yoongi, my ex-husband, my forever lover, flashing in my mind like the old movie.

The story begins when I met him in our college, a quiet and shy guy. Started as friends before both of us decided to take it to another level. He's a sweet guy despite his shy personality but little did I know, there's something more behind his personality.

It wasn't obvious at first, but soon I noticed how he become possessive over small things. He's obsessed with me and small fights leading to the bigger one until one day I figured out all the scary things he has done behind my back. What he has done to all people around me who seems to 'threatening' for him.

I confront him, talk, and persuade him to let me help him, to change for the better and he agreed. I was beyond happy because I'm in love with this man and I can't picture my future without him.

He became better, or at least that's what I thought then we got married.

It was the best day of my life. The new chapter of our life has started and I couldn't be happier to turn the page with the love of my life, but that was before the truth revealed.

He has never changed, he just started to hide it better from me. One day, something happened that trigger him to the point that he shows his monster to me. He was about to hurt someone but I tried to stop him and that's how he ended up hurting me.

I still remember the look on his face when he saw my blood came out from the wound that caused by him. As if his world crashing down right in front of him. I don't remember the rest because I lost my consciousness and the next thing I knew, I woke up in hospital without him.

Few days later, he sent me a divorce letter along with his handwriting letter.

'Do me a favour and please sign the letter. I'm letting you go because you deserved better. I'll try to fix myself but I can't do it with you by myside. If our path might cross again, I promise I'll never let you go. I'll write you a letter again if I finally become better. Love you, always.' And he fulfilled his promise.

I smile a little remembering everything before wipe away my tears and run to that place where we first met.

After all, I can't deny the connection that we both have. Even after spending these 3 years without him, my heart still beat the same rock song for him. If he's willing to fix himself to be better for me, why couldn't I wait for him?

Theme Song: Where You At by Taeil (Block B)
*lyrics were parts of the letter*