BTS SUGA Oneshots 《COMPILATION》✓

The Scent of Wet Rain

"The thick color of a rainy day in Seoul. I still can’t fall asleep as I fade away. The rain stops and the reflection in the puddle. I see myself looking more miserable today. It’s a rainy night, the rain knocks on my window, it hits my heart.

With my sore shoulders, I look at my phone and see a text,
“How are you these days?” My friend’s text gets my emotions going.

As I inhale the scent of the wet rain, I stretch and go to the bathroom. Then I greet myself, half asleep in the mirror, I have no one to meet but I take a longer shower than usual. Rain is still falling outside the house, I have no where to go but I take my umbrella and walk outside without a plan, my shoes get dirty. As if the rain wants its existence to be known. Am I someone who engraved, like the rain, my existence to you?

If not, am I just someone who came and went like a rain shower?" His lyrics replaying at my ear as I listen to the song again. Does it rain again in Seoul today? I grab my phone to check the weather forecast in Seoul.

Oh it's sunny. I feel a bit of relieved. I hope you have a good day Yoongi.

Be in the different continent, different time zone, I guess it was enough to makes him forget me faster but I guess I was wrong, after listen to this song, I definitely know that he was writing about our story. When we first met, it was raining, and when we broke up, it was also a raining day. I turn to the window, and it's raining too.

Although he never knew, but I was around him everyday, and I could see how miserable he looks like after we broke up. It's enough to kill me enough seeing him suffering like that, but I can't do anything better than this. It's the best way for him, the best way to save him, his dream, and his life.

Now, he message me again asking "What am I to you? Why you came and left as you want? Do you think I'm a guy without heart? If you want to play around, why don't you do it with other bastard? Do you ever love me? You said you love me, but why you leave me? If my existence was never mean anything to you, if our memories never leave any meaning to you, if our love was nothing to you, then leave. And never come back, because whatever your reason is, I won't forgive you." The questions that I would never be able to answer, and coming up the following line.

"I can accept it if you betray me, because I might be not good enough to you. But you betray our love, and I can't take it. I can't take it no more. If you keep silent, then fine. This will be my last message to you. From now on, you and me are now strangers."

Strangers. Yeah, we better stay at that. You should forget me Yoongi, no matter what, because you will never be able to meet me again.

---

"Eonni, the time is getting closer, are you ready?" I turn to meet her eyes, my bestfriend, my sister, the other half of me beside Yoongi, Jung In.

"I'm ready. Jung In ah, can you fulfill my last wish?" I asked her and hold her hand. She look at me surprisingly, "What the fck are you talk about?! It's not that you're going to die after the operation !" I let out a chuckles before answering her, "Just as if okay, answer me. Do me a favor will you?" I asked seriously.

She looks at me nodding hesitantly, I knew she didn't want it to be my last wish, but I knew that my turn to leave is coming soon. It's now or never.

"Jung In ah, if something happen to me, I don't want Yoongi know any of this,"

"but eonni!" She cutted me and I insist to continue,

"I insist. He should never know about my sickness, my operation, and anything of it." I said while pleading her. I know she can't say no, at least not to my last wish.

She look down before answer me, "but if you pass it well, you should let me contact him and telling him everything okay? It's not fair for him you know? He love you a lot." She pout almost crying, I smile weakly and hug her,

"and I do love him a lot too, but I don't want he become sad knowing the sad story of my life, loving him and be able to received his love in my life are the most happiest moment in my life. Just let him consider my existence as rain shower in his life, who came and left. I'd rather he hates me than he  hurt if he know about all of this." I try to hold on my tears and pat her back.

She let out a sniff and I knew that she is already crying. "Why this happening to you? You never done anything bad in this world, why you should suffering this much?" I smile weakly and parted away while wiping her tears.

"Jung In ah, stop crying. I don't want to remember your crying puffy face, I want to remember your smiling beautiful face in my mind." I tried to comfort her but end up making her crying.

"Miss Jungri, it's the time." A nurse coming to remind me. Yeah, it's the time.

"Jung In, trust me. After this, everything will be better. Life must go on. I love you my best friend." I hug her and she cry harder. After this, I will be able to see you and Yoongi every single second, every where.

---

"The thick color of a rainy day in Seoul. I still can’t fall asleep as I fade away. The rain stops and the reflection in the puddle. I see myself looking more miserable today. It’s a rainy night, the rain knocks on my window, it hits my heart. With my sore shoulders, I look at my phone and see a text,
“How are you these days?” My friend’s text gets my emotions going. As I inhale the scent of the wet rain, I stretch and go to the bathroom. Then I greet myself, half asleep in the mirror, I have no one to meet but I take a longer shower than usual. Rain is still falling outside the house, I have no where to go but I take my umbrella and walk outside without a plan, my shoes get dirty. As if the rain wants its existence to be known. Am I someone who engraved, like the rain, my existence to you?
If not, am I just someone who came and went like a rain shower?"

The song randomly play and I look at the window. It's raining again. It's been a year since she left me and I still can't figure out why she left me. I can't hate her although I stated it. I still love her and I will always be..

People said love shouldn't be together. I used to hate this phrase. What's the point of being in love if we can't be together. But now, I understand it. I don't know why and how, but I believe that Jungri still love me as much as I love her and she was around me actually. I knew it sounds pretty dumb, but I feel it. For her, I'll live a better life, I'll be a better person, I'll make better music. So she will be proud of me.

I open the window and inhaling the scent of the wet rain, and it feels so good. Somehow I feel her presence everytime I smell the scent of the wet rain. It's like she was here.

Theme Song: Rain by BTS