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I don't know what got into me, but here I am in front of ‘our’ used-to-be shared apartment. Since we broke up, I left because this apartment was bought by his money. Although at that time, he said that he bought it for me, but I don't want to stay here.It's like, how to feel like living in an apartment that bought by your ex's money?!
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I was having a very bad day, and now after having few sip of alcohol, my foot brought me here. My hand slowly reach out and put the passcode in, hoping he already changed the code, but-
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DING!
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He didn't.
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The door unlocked and I gulped before deciding to leave or get in. Taking a deep breathe, I took a step in and as expected it was silence. So silence that even each of my footsteps was echoing.If he's in here, he's supposed to come out right now.
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“H-hello...” I said, and wait for awhile but he didn't come out.
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I can't deny that old scars in my heart start bleeding again once I exploring our living room slowly. Those memories that got pushed away willingly come back and watering my eyes.How I wish I could turn back the time.
Everything was still the same, beside all of our photo frames has been taken down, there's none of them, oh! There's one left on the shelf. It was a silhouette photo of our kiss in our first anniversary in the beach.
He still keep this one. I remember, this one is his favorite.
I walked to a door in the corner of the corridor, the place where I usually find him, his studio. Even only by standing in front of this door makes my heart thumping hard.
Should I open it?
What should I do if he's inside?
What actually I was doing?
I can't find the answer in my head, but braven my self to open it.
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Surprisingly, it was empty. I scanned around and notice his screen was still on and showed some of his works.He still working that hard.
He must be in around here.
I thought as I notice a cup of hot coffee that just half done.
Slowly, I take a look at his works. I know how all of these things works, thanks for being his girlfriend for 3 years, most of our dating places was in his music studio.
I click some button and put on his earphone. I remember heard the news about his mixtape will be come out soon.
Maybe, these was one of them?
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I click play and the beat start playing and I heard him clear his throat and start to rap.
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“I miss you when I can't sleep
Or right after coffee
Or right when I can't eat
I miss you in my front seat
Still got sand in my sweaters
From nights we don't remember
Do you miss me like I miss you?
Fcked around and got attached to you
Friends can break your heart too,
And I'm always tired but never of you
If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that sht
I put this reel out, but you wouldn't bite that sht
I type a text but then I never mind that sht
I got these feelings but you never mind that sht
Oh oh, keep it on the low
You're still in love with me but your friends don't know
If you wanted me you would just say so
And if I were you, I would never let me go
I don't mean no harm
I just miss you on my arm
Wedding bells were just alarms
Caution tape around my heart
You ever wonder what we could have been?
You said you wouldn't and you fckg did
Lie to me, lie with me, get your fckg fix
Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fckg mixed
Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing
Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance
I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing
But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings
When love and trust are gone
I guess this is moving on
Everyone I do right does me wrong
So every lonely night I sing this song.”
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My mind went blank and my lips parting, fall in agape. Then I just realize I've been holding my breathe for awhile.He did rap in freaking English.
I can't believe.
He always told me about how he want to rap in cool English and he did it now.
The thing is, everything he tell in his lyrics was obviously about me. His anger, his breath, his cursing, his tone, his melody, his mutter and everything.
He sounds frustrated, mad, disappointed, lonely and it hurt me because I also feel the same.
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“What the hell you think you're doing?” a voice surprised me and I stood up immediately, turn my back, facing him.
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“I-I just..”
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“Just what? Barging in someone's house and touch their things?” He stare coldly at me and there's no emotion on his face.I know he looks scary when he was mad, but I never saw this side of him.
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“I-I'm sorry, Yoongi.. I just..” I paused because he step closer, look at me sharply.
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“Alcohol again, huh?” He asked without expression.
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“N-no... I mean, y-yeah, I drink a bit, but not much and I'm not drunk.” I explain quickly.
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“You don't need to explain everything. It's none of my business though.” He smirk and I can hear my heart break into pieces.He has changed,
back to his old cold Yoongi,
just like the first time I met him.
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Did I hurt him that bad?
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“I don't even know why I did that.” you scoffs look away and stare back at him.
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“You better leave now before I did something that I can't control.” He muttered and open the door for me.But now I'm curious.
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“Then I'll take the risk.” I challenge him and close the door back.I don't know if this was because the effect of alcohol or what, but somehow I want to stay with him, longer.
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“You're always challenging me, aren't you?” He smirk and I smirk back.
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“As you can guess, I'm still in love with you. So I challenge you, to take me back and I will never do you wrong anymore.” I don't know how those words coming from, but people said alcohol always makes people say the truth.
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“Huh. You think you can just left and come back as you want? You think it's gonna be that easy for me to take you back?” He start yelling and step closer to me until my back hit the door.
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“You don't know how much it fckg hurt when you fckg left me.” He muttered and to my surprise he was kissing me!
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I widened my eyes for awhile, but I can't help but kiss him back. I missed his touch, his lips. I missed him.
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“I hate how easy you barge in and break down my walls that I've been build since you left me.” He whisper once we parting.Our forehead was still connected and we were panting from his amazing kiss.
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“I've been promise my self that no matter what I won't take you back, but look, what I was doing right now?” He said and peck my lips one more time.
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“Give me a fckg chance. I swear, I'll do you right, this time.” I stare at his mesmerized eyes, pleading.
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“I will really fckg kill you if you do me wrong one more time.”Theme Song: I Hate U I Love U by Gnash
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BTS SUGA Oneshots 《COMPILATION》✓
FanfictionOneshot / Short stories compilation of BTS Suga All of these stories are repost from my imagines account @cypherimagine & @lunafiq | Instagram Stories are original and please don't copy paste it anywhere Enjoy and drop feedbacks❤