Thailand: Hewwo.
Indonesia: Hihiiiiii!
Vietnam: Greetings, Humans.
Singapore: Three kinds of people.
Brunei: I want pudding.
Singapore: Four kinds of people.
Philippines: WHAT'S UP FUCKERS?
Singapore: Five kinds of people.
-
EU: How many kids do you have?
ASEAN: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?
-
Myanmar: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Thailand: 'Prettiest Smile'
Vietnam: 'Nicest Personality'
Malaysia: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Singapore: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'
-
UN: If you had to pick between your members, who would you punch and why?
ASEAN: No one? I love them all.
UN: Phil?
ASEAN: Yeah.... But I don't know why...
-
Brunei: Have you even seen an amulet?
Laos: I eat amulets every day. Sometimes they're paired with some tomatoes and probably even ground pork-its delicious.
Cambodia: Laos, those are omelettes.
Laos: Oh- well I have nothing.
-
Timor Leste: Woah! He's 54 years old already?
Indonesia: Yeah, it's because he was born 54 years ago.
-
ASEAN: Why are you up so late?
Malaysia, Philippines and Indonesia in unison: Me?
ASEAN: No not you, you all stay up pretty late.
ASEAN, to Vietnam: You.
-
Timor Leste: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Papua New Guinea: You're a hazard to society.
Philippines: And a coward. DO TWENTY.
-
Vietnam: What do you think Laos will do for a distraction?
Cambodia: He'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
Cambodia: ... or he could do that.
-
Brunei: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Malaysia:
Malaysia: You need to stop.
-
Singapore: Here sir! A nice hot cup of coffee.
ASEAN: It's warm.
Singapore: A nice cup of coffee.
ASEAN: It tastes horrible.
Singapore: Cup of coffee.
ASEAN: I don't think this is actually coffee.
Singapore:
Singapore: Cup.
-
Philippines: Is Clifford a dog or a dinosaur?
Myanmar: Phil, it's 3 am.
Thailand: Why the fuck do you know about Clifford anyway?
-
UN: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?
AU: Have everyone stand.
ASEAN: Bring three more chairs!
USAN/UNASUR: The most important ones can sit down.
EU: Kill three.
-
Phil: I'm bored.
Vietnam: Same.
Phil: Wanna commit arson?
Singapore: *breathes in* G u y s .
---
istg aside from asean himself, singapore is such a relatable character
also inserting this here because i still love this
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YOU ARE READING
a countryhumans asean dumpster, sadly
RandomI'm tired to rewrite the description all you need to know that this is literally a book where I drabble over actual humanized countries mostly asean though [ENG; may include other languages] ✨
