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Chapter Forty Six.

Chapter Forty Six.

"When life gives you curves flaunt them." x Pretty Pear Brides.

••

"Here. Chocolate milk," Bangi says handing me a glass.
"Thank you."

I take a small sip before snuggling up close to him. "How'd you know I needed this?"
"I know my wife," he says and puts his arm around my shoulder, rubbing on my forearm soothing me as the smile on my face disappears. "You want to talk about what happened today?"

"Not really...only because I'm ashamed of what I'm thinking."
"What are you thinking?"
"Bangi..."
"Ngitjele Sthandwa sam, talk to your man," he says and kisses my forehead.

I wiggle out of his hold and place my glass on the coffee table in front of me before heaving out a heavy sigh. My head shakes and I look away from him.

"Zanokuhle."
"Yoh," I turn to look at him. He's serious, arms crossed in front of his chest and awaiting me to voice out my thoughts. "Fine...Luthando had a seizure today. She's never had one before until today and so when we took her to see a doctor they told us she looked fine and nothing was out of place."

"Meaning?"
"Meaning none of her tests came back showing any abnormalities. It's like we imagined the whole seizure thing," I say. "So...that's why I've been feeling bad for thinking what I'm thinking."
"You still haven't told me what your thinking."

I clear my throat and glance down at my knotted fingers. "What if...what if Luthando is not happy where she is. You and I both know Thokozani claimed that she cries when with him or with any of his family members, and I've seen it personally. And now with the seizure thing...my mind and heart is telling me that something is definitely not right here. I know how much Thokozani loves Luthando, I mean he was there for her from the beginning of her time here on earth but what if all of that is a facade? A lie and Luthando as young as she is, is just trying to show us by what she keeps doing. Having a seizure due to trauma caused by sexual assault is a thi-..."

"Woah woah woah...Sthandwa sam, how did we even get to that?" He sounds pretty confused and that alone had me feeling worse for even coming to that conclusion.

"Research, I went from searching on how doctors can be able to tell if you've had a seizure; An MRI scan, the brain waves thing...electro-something...EEG to reasons why you'd even have a seizure in the first place. I searched the types of seizures and ended up reading about psychogenic seizures." I shake my head.

"Psychogenic seizures?"

"Bangi, I'm a terrible person. How can I even think of such about such a great father. Forget I even said anything."
"Sthandwa sam, don't do that to yourself. In fact let us not even pretend that that doesn't happen in real life. Such assaults exist."

"But I'm not making sense Bangi, this research of mine is  not even based on facts. It probably isn't even possible for a child her age to have that kind of seizure, yet here I am thinking the worst of this innocent man. She could just be sensitive to light and I..." I take my milk and down half of it painfully.

Zanokuhle, you haven't even been with this baby for that long but you're already summing up her life like this.

My phone starts ringing just as I was reaching out to put my glass of milk down again.

As if I needed any more thoughts running through my mind.

"Thokozani. Hi," I say immediately after answering the phone.
"Sorry for calling you so late, I wanted to tell you that I've finally gotten Luthando to sleep."
"Oh...is she fine?"