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Chapter Sixty Four.

Chapter Sixty Four.

"Forgive and forget?"

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I'm staring at him as he carefully paged through the book he was reading to Nzwano so passionately. She seemed to love this one...or maybe she loved it more when her father reads to her than when I do because of this concentration she's giving him.
With me she'd be fiddling or wanting other things than that book.

I'm jealous, but I'm also smitten.

Another reason I'm happy she has a father like Bangi and he is the set standard for her when she's out there grown and making friends.

My heart clenches as I think of the fact that soon she'll be talking and thinking on her own. One day we'll be accompanying her to her first day of school and then have her go to primary school and then high school and then university. I go sit on the edge of the bed and continue watching and listening to him read to her.

It won't be long until she drifts off to sleep. My phone vibrates and I reach for it eager to see who was texting me at this hour. Nyiso.

'thanks for today. Love you mge.' her text read.

Sigh.

'don't mention it. Love you too.' I reply before logging off and tossing the phone aside.

"She's knocked out," Bangi says causing me to look to him as he closed the book and put it away with the rest.
"What can I say, you're good with her."
"So, did you girls enjoy yourself today? I know it must've been great seeing your friend again."
"It was okay. We talked about a couple of things including a little trip that could happen in a few weeks."
"Sounds fun," he smiles snaking his arms around my waist, holding me close. "Can I tag along?"

I just chuckle because our husbands were never in this trip's plans. In fact it was going to be me, Nyiso, Khaya and Buhle and lastly Amandla.

"I'll take that as a no," he chuckles too.
"I didn't say no Malinga wami, I just want to talk to Nyiso and then see if we can change the dynamics of this trip."
"Don't do that. Go, have fun and enjoy yourselves, I insist." he says shrugging. "What else did you talk about?"
"Uthanda izindaba boh Bangi," I laugh and try pushing him away but he only holds me tighter.

"Kanti yini benihleba ngami?"
I stop laughing all together because I was hit by a pang of guilt. "Your name may have come up a few times."
"Oh? Good things only I hope."
My eyes drift off into the far corners of this room looking for an escape. "What's wrong sthandwa sam?"
"Nothing I'm just tired."

His stare manages to find me and keeps me there for seconds unend. "We talked about the therapy thing," I say and in an instant I'm freed from the arms that held me hostage.
"This again? Why are you making such a big deal out of nothing Zanokuhle?"
"Because this doesn't look like nothing to me Bangi. I know I may have been wrong for sharing this with Nyiso but I needed someone to talk to and someone to give me advice."
"Advice about nothing. I'm fine," he says and walks off to bed.
"Fine? How is not eating a proper meal for days fine? Bangi how is you having sleepless nights just after this whole thing okay for you when it clearly is not?"
"So you want me to see a therapist for a few normal days of no appetite or having no sleep?"

Is he even hearing himself? Normal?

"I want you to see a therapist because I know what you're going through and I don't want to see you get worse. There's nothing wrong with it."
He folds his arms in front of his chest. "Did therapy work for you?"

"Why are you making this about me? And you know very well that I couldn't afford therapy when my mother died. You know how the situation was. Bangi it's fine ke if you don't want me to be a decent human and be concerned about the one I love and care about but if this is how you want to continue then I'll leave you be," I say, take my phone and walk out of the bedroom.