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Sixty Seven.

Chapter Sixty Seven.

"Every moment is a fresh beginning." x T.S Eliot

••

"I don't know what's worse, my headache or this weather," I say opening the blinds to gaze upon the litres of water gushing outside like it didn't see that we were here for some sun.

"Sit down and relax mge. How will the pills work if you're fussing with what God has already done? Besides I see nothing wrong with a relaxing day in where we can just rest...play games...gossip...and eat" Nyiso says.
"I choose gossip," Buhle props herself up from the bed.
"Im sure thats the only option you heard," I chuckle and rub on my temples.
"I agree with Buhle. Lets gossip."
"Weeeh, about who and what?" I look at both of them after questioning.

Now they're the ones looking my way causing me to frown.

"Hayi," I shake my head slightly and sit on the bed.
"Come on mge, you know your life is far more interesting than ours," Nyiso says.
"Yeah tell us about what more happens behind those palace walls that I don't know of," Buhle.
"Nothing happens. Besides I haven't set foot past those palace gates in ages. "
"Come on sis, you can do better than that."

I shrug. I have nothing to share. Or rather I don't feel like sharing. What if I end up jinxing a lot of things by saying what I shouldn't.

"Uyabhora weMge."
"Tell her."
"Nisile hawu." I lay down on Nyiso's legs, folding my arms in front of my chest. "Do you guys ever feel like there was something wrong with Alakhe?"
"Mentally?" Buhle asks.
"Yeah," I nod.
"Sometimes. The things he did were questionable."
"Do you think he's resting in peace?" I ask thinking back to those uncomfortable dreams that I had a while back.
"Haybo...whats with that question?"
"I...Im just asking. He was killed afterall."
"But then they should've, as per procedure, performed some ritual for him angisho to assure that he truly does rest in whatever hell he is in." Nonkanyiso says causing me to sit up in shock by what she just uttered.

"Mge."
"Haybo, im not lying. The entire kingdom knows this too. Alakhe was no saint. Even our very own King wasn't, but he managed to change. Alakhe not so much. Maybe something was loose in the head." Nyiso says.
"Hmm..."
"Why are we gossiping about Alakhe out of all the people?"
"I'm just thinking of what Khethiwe told me not so long ago...about her dreaming of Alakhe. He was being weird in this dream and then he suddenly he was rotting...like dead rotting...and he kept saying that here we're alone and that here he can make me his. He wasn't making sense because what he was saying was absurd."

"Eh," Buhle.
"Mge did you have this dream?" Nyiso asks.
"What? No. I told you mos. This was Khethiwe's dream."
"You talk to Khethiwe now?" Buhle asks.

I swallow silently.

"After everything she has done to you?" She adds on and like a fresh wound, it stings. I don't like lying but this is truly not something I want the world knowing.

Especially my husband.

But what good is it if I don't let him know such...

What good does it bring into my life apart from a life with secrets?

"Okuhle." Nyiso. I know she's serious now.
"You're not answering us."
"I don't know what to say." I crumble and hope for any sort of distraction.
"You're having dreams with Alakhe in them?" Nyiso asks.
"Does Bangizwe know?" Buhle follows right ahead and once again my lips fail to utter my thoughts.
"How long has this been going on?"
"Honestly not the kind of gossip I was hoping for," Buhle says.

"Zanokuhle answer me...us."

"I think we all know what I'm going to say to all those questions," I say and get up from the bed. Not even a step further more questions come flooding in.
"How can you not tell your husband?"
"Why not consult?"
"Why did you lie to us, I thought we were friends...family even."
"Because...its not normal!" I snap.
"Of course its not, that's why you seek help not shut up and hope for the best."
"Okay please stop judging me ke."
"Hayi. I'm going to judge you mina mge. Why not tell Bangi out of all people? Wena ngathi you don't love that man neh?"
"Uyahlanya. How can you even say that?"
"I'm pretty sure its not the first time you do this. Its not healthy."