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Chapter Fifteen.

Chapter Fifteen.

"When a person falls in love with your flowers and not your roots, they don't know what to do when fall and winter comes" x JADE JACKSON.

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My eyes shoot open for the second time this evening, only now it was because of my alarm. I had the same dream again. Zweli and his crèche of kids chasing me in a dark and dingy pit. I swear I could even smell the dream. A pungent smell of cigarettes and nappies. I don't even know them, but they all had Zwelibanzi's face and tiny bodies.

All of them kept on yelling "mama" "mama" "come back"

I sit up, running a hand past my face before uttering a "Mh...Ya neh."

What is this guy's aim? To have every woman out there birth his child? How many soul ties does this man have? Is he even healthy? I clap once. This is embarrassing.

Sies. Sies!

I say a quick prayer before climbing out of bed. My neck was sore from my sleeping position it seems, but I'll soldier on. I go boil some water for my bath before going to wake Buhle and Khaya up.

When I'm done bathing, I put on a pair of jeans, a top and a wool knitted jersey. It's probably time I take these braids of mine out, even if they still looked a bit decent.

Zonke comes to sit by the table just as I was about to portion out the oats I had just made.

"Morning." I greet with a smile on my face in the hopes that she would respond positively.
"Hi." She replies, her voice low.
I take in a deep breath. "Sh...should I dish up for you?"
"What did you make?"
"Oats?"
"Sure." She says, and I pretty much scatter to go grab her a bowl and a spoon in the cupboards. I pour her a full scoop before pausing to ask if she wanted more. She nodded and I ended up adding two more scoops to her bowl.

"Sugar? Milk?"
"Just sugar." She says. I nod and bring it for her. I then hear Khaya coming down the passage, bag in his arm as he shoved a book in it.
He joins next to Zonke and puts his bag on the floor. "Can I also have some too?"

I end up serving everyone breakfast including myself. We all ate. It was quiet, with just the clinking of our bowls filling the room.

Buhle clears her throat. "Uh...I have to help my friend after school with life science, so I might come back later than I usually do."
"Oh...do I have to fetch you?"
"No need. Her father will bring me back."

I nod. "Okay."

Saved myself some petrol.

••••••••••••••••••••••••

3 months go by and honestly after such extremely cold days I couldn't wait for spring to arrive. I loved spring. I loved how new life was given to nature. How the grass and leaves seemed to grow greener than the previous years.

It has also become harder to contain myself with what I kept feeling inside. I was scared of my own feelings and for the first time ever, my faith was literally getting tested. It's like this man has fed me something, cause it just seemed like I was putty in his hands. Maybe it was the way he treated me. How he reassured me every single time that he loved me and that I'm beautiful. How he was so honest with every word he spoke. I think what scared me the most was how quick I was and is falling for him.