his weakness

thirty one

K E N Z I E

I had never expected to hear any of that from Nolan about his past. I'm still in shock, not able to believe all of that had happened to him. It made me want to cry for him knowing a part of him blames himself for everything. And it's pulled me closer to him. All I want to do right now is slap his dad across the face. His family didn't deserve any of that. I don't even know how he's fucking living knowing he has taken everything away from his son and that he has gotten his wife and daughter killed. If I was him, I don't think I'd ever be able to face someone again.

Before we left Nolan's mom's house, he told me more about them. The way he was talking about them seemed as if he hadn't talked about them for a long time now. I'm glad he opened up to me, he needed it. But I feel guilty. He trusts me a whole fucking lot and I'm scared to break it. He's been hurt so many times, I don't want to add to it but I have to. To keep him safe. At least.

I hadn't forgotten that Kieran's sister was going to be coming over today and maybe I'll be able to get something out of her about Kieran. I can maybe do something to stop Kieran from making me break Nolan's heart. Everything in me doesn't want to do anything that would hurt him but I have no choice. He has already been through so much and I can tell by the way he looks at me, he feels something.

"Fuck. She's going to be here soon. She is actually going to be here." Chase mumbles to himself, walking repeatedly forward and backwards.

"Calm down. Stop stressing about her coming over. She's not going to kill you." I'm sitting on one of the stools at the bar they have in their house I had no idea about with my mouth filled with grapes.

"I'm scared. What if she doesn't like me the way I like her? I didn't tell you this but we kissed the last time she was here. It was just out of nowhere and we didn't talk after it at all. Today is going to be the first time we talk after it. I'm shitting my pants, Kenzie." I stop chewing on my grapes and stared at Chase.

"What?! Stop looking at me like that." He grabs a pillow and throws it at me.

"I'm sorry! But it depends on how she reacted after the kiss. Tell me and maybe I'll be able to get a hint if she likes you." I suggest.

"Oh well. It was at one of her and Nolan's family reunions. Nolan didn't want to go but I guess Vanessa convinced him. So he went but he took all of us with him, forcing me especially. It was at Vanessa's dad's house who's a fucking millionaire. We bonded by talking a lot, had a lot of shit in common but then I guess we found ourselves somewhere alone and just got carried away in the moment and kissed. She kissed me first, and I let her. It lasted for a good ten seconds and I guess after she realised what just happened so she ended up walking off." He lowers his voice in the last part. I feel sorry for him but it seems almost like the first ever kiss me and Nolan had. And now look at us. We both don't know what we are at the moment though.

"How long ago did this happen?" I ask.

"Oh.. uh.. maybe two years ago? I don't remember."

"Hm. Then I'm afraid I can't tell you what I think she felt because her reaction was confusing and it was two years ago-" Chase interrupts me, "Or less." He says.

"Or less, but I'll be disappointed in her if she doesn't like you because who wouldn't like Chase?" I try making a joke, well sort of but he doesn't laugh.