his weakness

fifty

K E N Z I E

The journey here was agonizing, every moment felt like an eternity. I'm still completely in the dark about what's happening to my mom. Nolan and I are currently on the way to the hospital, the uncertainty weighing heavily on me during the drive.

The storm's intensity mirrors the heaviness in my heart. This unexpected, relentless weather feels strangely coincidental. Peering through the window, the heavy rain blurs the outside world, and the traffic slows to a crawl, hidden behind the cascading drops.

It didn't take me long to say a word. I just needed some time to think to myself. I needed to prepare myself for whatever is going to happen today. It's safe to say that Nolan was there for me. During the flight, he didn't take his eye off me for a second.

My phone vibrates in my lap and I unlock it as quickly as I can.

Vanessa: We're all here waiting for you guys. Kenz, it'll be alright. I promise.

After reading Vanessa's message, I shut my phone off. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but a strange sensation gnaws at the pit of my stomach. It's as if my body's already anticipating the fucked up outcome that awaits me today.

Nah. This is what you do all the time, Kenzie. When you hear somethings not going your way, you always expect the worst from it. This is your mom, and you're not going to lose her anytime soon. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not for a while.

Stop thinking so negatively.

Usually when my mind is filled with thoughts like these, the one person there for me is mom. But I'm in this state right now because of her. I know if it happens today, if I lose her, I'm going to be furious. I'm going to literally go crazy. I'm still a teenager, I'm not in the right place to get on with my life with no parent. I physically and mentally need her. I'm just not ready to face this all alone.

I'm thrown out of my little 'stop being so ridiculous' pep talk as I feel Nolan's warm hand on my thigh. He doesn't turn to look at me. Neither do I. If I look at him then I'll become even more emotional.

My heart starts to thump even harder and faster as we finally pull into the hospital parking lot.

I exit myself out of the car even before Nolan gets the chance to park it. Not giving a damn about how wet I get. Now you're just seconds away from knowing if your life is going to stay the norm or if this is the beginning of your downfall. Running into the familiar building, I walk over to the reception, looking like a mess.

"Jade Malcolm. She's my mom." I quickly speak out to the receptionist who glances at me worriedly.

"Just upstairs. 309B" The numbers and letters echo in my mind as I weave through the crowded space, heading upstairs. Amidst the bustling surroundings, my gaze locks onto a family in distress, their faces revealing the heart-wrenching news of losing a loved one. Witnessing the little girl and the middle-aged man break down, it hits me hard—this could be me in an instant. I can't fathom experiencing the pain and devastation they're going through right now.

I don't realise that I had stopped in my tracks to watch the family break down into pieces until I feel Nolan's wet hand on my shoulder, making me flinch.

"Let's go." He holds onto my hand and looks me in the eye with so much emotion behind his eyes. I can see the concern and pityness behind them.

We turn into the corridors where the room is supposedly located in. All of them also look like shit. Like they haven't left from that same position for a while.

Vanessa rushes towards me, the boys trailing behind her, but everything seems surreal and oddly sluggish. It's as if their approach is in slow motion. I feel the urge to collapse, to let my body give in, yet I know I can't. If I don't stay strong now, I'd be failing my mom. She'd want me to be brave in this moment, regardless of how overwhelming it is.