𝗡𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗡𝗼𝘄 🤍

•𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗢𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗢𝗳 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆•

A/N: Flashbacks in italics.

•🍂•

Tommy's POV, 12th February 2008

Hey, so now I get to give my side of the story. This should be fun. To be honest, I don't truly know all the things that went wrong with Nikki all I know is he broke my heart- I wasn't angry at him when he broke up with me because I understood how his brain worked but I just don't get why he'd want to make himself unhappy, like who'd want that?

I still loved him- I'll always love him and I know he still loved me. Saying that though, we never talk about our relationship, Nikki always either leaves when he senses when I'm taking the conversation in that direction or diverts the conversation to a topic on the total opposite spectrum of relationships- he's ashamed of what he did, I can read that off him easily... but he also still believes he's not good enough for me which is and always has been bullshit but that's just Nikki's mentality, a thing he's learnt from when he was a kid.

I hate how he thinks and I've tried, or at least I used to try and help him as much as I could with the way he saw himself but it was a losing battle and I've had to accept that even-though it hurts to admit, I always thought I could cure Nikki- it sounds stupid but I thought for the longest time I could put a stop to all of his pain and insecurities but it was obviously an impossible task, I only realised it was impossible task after we broke up which is kinda sad.

Nikki thought he was a burden to me, that he was dragging me down because of his drugs issue in the eighties and then just the fact that he's fucked up but like I told him when we split, I like his fucked up.

I fell for him although he had problems, I loved him despite his many flaws, it's not his fault that he's got problems that's down to his shitty excuse for a mom and dickhead of a dad. Nik just can't believe or accept that fact that I fell for him although he's fucked up and I don't think he is that fucked up, it's all in his head, it's just what he tells himself to justify the choices and actions he made when he convinced himself he wasn't good enough for me.

The breakup was rough, I didn't know what to do with myself and I still didn't, it broke me, Nikki took me totally by surprise that day, I hadn't been expecting him to end it with me, I knew he was acting weird but I wasn't expecting him to break it off like that.

The first place I went too after the breakup was my parents house, they were the only people I could think of turning to, I just needed my mom because she knew just how much I truly loved Nikki and how much I still love Nikki and she also understood Nikki and his sometimes irrational way of dealing with things.

I pull up outside my parents house having driven the distance straight from Nikki and I's place... well not anymore... but that's not important. I wasn't sure what I was going to say to my mom and dad, how I was going to explain this to them but I suppose my probable instant breakdown will be enough explanation.

Before I got out the car I looked at myself in the overhead mirror, I looked awful, I had red circles around my eyes from the little bit of crying I'd done on my way here but nowhere near as much as I want to, I've done a damn good job of keeping it together so far, I ran a hand down my face and through my hair, huffing and slamming the mirror back up to the roof of the car and opening the car door getting out quickly and heading up the driveway to the my parents front door.

Once there I take a breath and try to hold myself together, which was getting more difficult by the minute- I raised my hand and knocked firmly on the door while choking down a sob.